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Kate Moss Enlivens The Clubby GQ Awards, In Pictures

ANORAK was at the GQ Awards, and what a fine do it was. There were loads of speechezzzz and prizezzzz and gongzzzz, the ubiquitous Lily Allen, and Kate Moss proved that without a runway to guide her walking she needs to lean on a pole and is not all that good at undressing herself.

The Mail witters:

As she wrapped her slender figure around a column at the venue, she danced to the music and slipped off her black satin jacket, which caught on her wrist and dragged on the floor. While doing her routine her Alexander McQueen mini dress rode up and she narrowly avoided flashing her underwear.

Topless stunna Cocaine Kate Moss almost showed us her knickers, and not on a coat hanger at Top Shop either, but on the top of her legs and wrapped around her backside. Perhaps if the Mail’s hack had craned her neck a bit further, or paid, she’d have gotten to see Kate’s moss?

Meanwhile on stage, TV advert actor James Nesbitt was proving that actors without scripts are just empty vessels that can barely breathe without instruction:

“Kate Moss has still got it. Well, she should do, I gave it to her just before she came on stage.”

Well, so say the Mail. The same joke was heard by the Press Association, only this time it goes:

“She’s still got it. I hope she has, I gave it to her before she came on… my number.”

Cue the tumbleweed. And cue Kate Moss, who provided a second highlight of the evening that we’d have missed were it not for ITV filming it.

Minutes later she was seem flouncing out of the backstage interview room and barging past Lily Allen, uttering: ‘He’s so****ing rude,’ before adding that she would ‘never come to one of these ****ing award ceremonies again’.

Of, don’t go Kate. The do would be even more tired without you. Thanks to Moss, the news media has something to report on other than which actress wore the best gusset and who is related to the most celebs.

Later Kate Moss embarrassed herself further by… Well, here’s the Daily Mirror to tell us:

It’s a standing joke that people can’t tell their Ant from their Dec - but that didn’t make Kate Moss feel any better when she got it spectacularly wrong… The 35-year-old supermodel was at a posh London restaurant when one of the popular Geordie presenting duo waltzed in. She began chanting: “Dec, Dec, Dec - I love you, Dec!” Which was a bit unfortunate since it was Declan Donnelly’s taller comedy partner, 33-year-old Ant McPartlin. D’oh!

Not that Kate Moss was joking, of course.