Noble Peter Andre Feels Like A Middle-Aged Virgin

PETER Andre is making his debut on the new season of This Morning, with breastfeeding Liverpool aficionado Holly Willoughby, when Philip Schofield tells him that he’s been “very noble and very dignified and very gracious”.

The Anorak dictionary has been a work in progress for some years, and right now the finest linguistic minds are working on how “noble”, “dignified” and “gracious” are similes for Peter Andre accusing his now ex-wife Katie Price of being “cheap” and “disgusting”.

In Closer magazine, Pete is pictured in typical pose: closed mouth half-smile and soft eyes that invite anyone passing to ask the question, “You alright?”m before listening patiently as sentimental Pete tells you how he’s moved on and life is great and the kidzzzz are amazing and that misery loves company and…

“If Kate gets married then good luck to her, it doesn’t affect me…Whether her choice of person is what I agree with is irrelevant… I don’t know Alex so I can’t comment on him…”

No comment is still a comment, right? As dignified Peter tells the Daily Star:

“For so long, I never said the word ‘never’. I would say things like ‘What’s done is done’, but I never said ‘never’. But I’m saying it now.” And Peter, 36, revealed that Kate’s behaviour after they split was irreparable. He added: “The damage was done when I left, but even more damage has been done since then. She had her ex-boyfriend Dane Bowers round for a party within two weeks of our split! Since then every day there’s been another nail in the coffin. And now the coffin is closed.”

But the corpse is twitching.

Says Pete Andre:

“My sex ban has been excruciating [see all media]. The other night I was in bed eating chocolate and watching a film  so I write on Twitter: ‘I feel like  the 40-Year -Old Virgin.”

Peter Andre is 36. Any middle-aged virgins reading this can apply to the usual address…

Anorak

Posted: 15th, September 2009 | In: Celebrities Comment | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed: RSS 2.0 | TrackBack | Permalink