Queen Mother Swore At Jimmy Carter And Fancied Princess Diana
NOT only is Princess Diana back, but so too is the Queen Mother, who one might suppose features on the Express’ cover to make Diana look even more radiant.
The Daily Express recognises that its readers are too old to learn anything news so continues to publish images and news from the past to reassure them that things are as they ever were and ever will be.
Tomorrow, there’s a look at Princess Diana’s wedding arrangements with go-ahead designer Mary Quant and the Queen Mum is due to visit London’s East End to tell Doodlebug victims that they shan’t be coming back to her palace because they have dirty feet and even in a time of much upheaval standards are all. There will be much cheering.
Reading on we learn that a new biography of the Queen Mum has been penned and it includes in its 1,096 pages, possibly:
* The Queen mum suffered from Tourette’s Syndrome and once addressed US President Jimmy Carter as Jimmy Cocksucker at the Garden Party.
* She had a cancerous tumour removed from her breast that grew up to be a fine upstanding young Prince who failed with the Marines but managed to squire two kidz and pull a woman who once flashed her tits at Chris Tarrant.
* In his book William Shawcross says that the Queen Mum did not have a colostomy bag fitted in 1967 after having endured treatment for colon cancer. The quivering shitbag seen by her side at many social functions was actually King George VI.
* Her Majesty The Queen once had to pay off the Queen Mother’s gambling debts, settling a bill from Peter Cazelet. Threats to have the Queen Mum’s teeth “burnt or else” are proven to be unfounded.
* The Queen Mum’s favourite TV show was Dads’ Army, which she said assured her that the boys fighting on the front line were “well-equipped, orderly and of an age where they were unlikely to flee their station unless they needed the toilet desperately”.
* She once went hang gliding with Professor Stephen Hawking.
In Anorak’s latest tome – Diana: The Dress Rail Years - Princess Diana continues to live on the Fabled Sixth Floor of the Harvey Nichols Department store in central London, from where she can see the guards changing in Chelsea barracks, literally…
Posted: 17th, September 2009 | In: Celebrities, Gallery, Key Posts Comments (9) | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed: RSS 2.0 | TrackBack | Permalink
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September 18th, 2009 at 4:38 am
The Queen Mum had difficulty in swallowing and nearly choked several time. George Bush has the same condition.
September 18th, 2009 at 12:20 am
Doc
hit view —-> encoding ——–> Right to left document
It temporarily puts the ads out of the way over there <—————-
Works for me anyway
September 18th, 2009 at 12:07 am
I can’t read this article because the adverts are all over it, but did HMTQM really fancy Princess Di? Wow, did she have Royal Dungarees and listen to KD Lang?
September 17th, 2009 at 3:28 pm
Oh grief, he’s gone into Byron x Plato mode…
September 17th, 2009 at 3:23 pm
Neither. It was the days. Teeth and Gravestones come and go. They are but
flotsam on of the river of history but the river itself, once past, is gone forever
September 17th, 2009 at 2:59 pm
Yampster - “Will we ever see their like again” - is that the gravestones or the teeth….??
September 17th, 2009 at 2:38 pm
We were young. The NHS had just started. We were fresh from Dental College. We planned to rid the world of eszatz wartime utility teeth. Perhaps because of this we were critical , too critical of her teeth. The rest of the royal family sent their teeth to Canada for the duration but the Queen Mum kept hers with her all through the Blitz. It was a brave thing to do but it left her with a mouth like a bomb site. After 1944 she could never eat underdone bacon .
September 17th, 2009 at 2:18 pm
Wonder which of them spent the most money, even though the QM had head start of some 60 years on The Pof W, at least the QM’s spending sprees were heavily taxed.
Yampster, her teeth weren’t too grim in the 50’s, were they?
September 17th, 2009 at 1:59 pm
I believe it was Princess Margaret that first started the rumour that the Queen Mother’s teeth were finest Malaysian mahogony. I suppose that we will never know now.My own memories of her dentition go back to the 50’s when my sister and I used to play hide and seek in a dilapidated corner of a local graveyard known to us as “The Queen Mum’s Teeth” Happy days. Will we ever see their like again