Strictly Come Dancing Judge Vows To Punch Alesha Dixon

IN “MY War With Alesha” – Craig Revels-Horny (the erect chocolate coated orange) tells of his Strictly Come Dancing arms race.

The Mirror’s headline promises much, looking to pile more misery on Alesha Dixon, this year’s John Sergeant. But reading on we get:

Furious Craig Revel Horwood has threatened to wallop fellow Strictly judges Alesha Dixon and Bruno Tonioli if they do not shut up and let him speak.

Revels Horny is going to punch Dixon? Best make it look like a flailing arm in a frenzied cha-cha-cha, RH, lest you be accused of woman beating and hauled before the Celebrity Police Force.

As for Bruno Tonioli, well you can beat him, you can punch him and you can take away his shiny knickers but you can never make the BBC’s comedy foreigner simper any more than he already does. Says RH:

“I would like to slap them both. That’s my intention come this weekend. If they start rabbiting on I am going to put a stop to that.”

Strictly Come Dancing really is strict. How Max Mosley must wish he’d have singed up for the show.

Anorak

Posted: 26th, September 2009 | In: Celebrities, Key Posts Comment | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed: RSS 2.0 | TrackBack | Permalink