Anorak | Victoria Beckham Just Needs The Food Of Love

Victoria Beckham Just Needs The Food Of Love

by | 29th, September 2009

beckham-bones IT’S walking magazine insert Victoria Beckham on the cover of Closer , Her Thinness advertising the news: MISERY DRIVES POSH TOWARDS ANOREXIA .”

Misery is not Posh’s new lead sedan chair operative, and Anorexia is not the hottest-most club in Milan. Closer explains:

“So insecure she starves herself until she’s dizzy and weak.”

“Expert warns: ‘She could end up dead.”

Dealing with each point in turn, isn’t dizzy and weak how WAGs are supposed to be? And this expert should know that celebrities never die, they just perform to a captive audience.

As ever, the magazine can tell how much a person weighs by simply looking at them. Posh, we learns weigh in at 6st 12.

Closer also tells us that it is possible to count the bones in her chest ”. We would again care to correct the magazine and say that they are not bones but breasts. They do appear to be firm to the touch, but these breasts are not reliant on calcium to stay pert. And you can’t fracture a breast. Then this:

Posh has “the figure of seven year old ”.

Which seven year old is unsaid, but it can’t be one in the environs of Anorak Towers, where all seven year old are a robust 11 stone and have massive wobbling breasts.

You have already read 1 premium article for free today
Access immediately the premium content with Multipass

Or come back tomorrow

Posted: 29th, September 2009 | In: Celebrities Comments (7) | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed: RSS 2.0 | TrackBack | Permalink