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Anorak | Victoria Beckham Just Needs The Food Of Love

Victoria Beckham Just Needs The Food Of Love

by | 29th, September 2009

beckham-bonesIT’S walking magazine insert Victoria Beckham on the cover of Closer, Her Thinness advertising the news: “MISERY DRIVES POSH TOWARDS ANOREXIA.”

Misery is not Posh’s new lead sedan chair operative, and Anorexia is not the hottest-most club in Milan. Closer explains:

“So insecure she starves herself until she’s dizzy and weak.”

“Expert warns: ‘She could end up dead.”

Dealing with each point in turn, isn’t dizzy and weak how WAGs are supposed to be? And this expert should know that celebrities never die, they just perform to a captive audience.

As ever, the magazine can tell how much a person weighs by simply looking at them. Posh, we learns weigh in at 6st 12.

Closer also tells us that it is “possible to count the bones in her chest”. We would again care to correct the magazine and say that they are not bones but breasts. They do appear to be firm to the touch, but these breasts are not reliant on calcium to stay pert. And you can’t fracture a breast. Then this:

Posh has “the figure of seven year old”.

Which seven year old is unsaid, but it can’t be one in the environs of Anorak Towers, where all seven year old are a robust 11 stone and have massive wobbling breasts.

Closer needs help and invites health a fitness “expert” Nicki Waterman to say that Vicky “looks ill”.

Says Posh:

“I appreciate that there are young girls and woman who look to me as a role model. And it’s untrue to say that I do not eat and I’m unhealthy.”

It’s the medya. In real life Posh is a hardy soul who takes long walks in the woods with her pet cocker spaniels and lives on raw road kill and chips.

The media impression of her being thin is not of her design. The sooner people in the meedya have the guts to ask Posh when we can hear her magical voice again or if it’s true that her fashions are way ahead of their time, the better.

The sooner Posh can be left alone to live her own life in the privacy of a fashion show, stood naked on billboard or sat on a TV sofa minding her own business, the better.

Says Nicki Trainer: “She’s clearly desperately unhappy.”

Trim the fat.



Posted: 29th, September 2009 | In: Celebrities Comments (7) | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed: RSS 2.0 | TrackBack | Permalink