Amy Winehouse And Blake On Come Dine With Me, In Pictures
AMY Winehouse and Blake Fielder-Civil are back together. And the good news is that their romance is being enacted in the hygienic glare of Facebook and over a dinner table.
As the Sun tells us:
The pair – caught having sex soon after their August divorce – swapped sugary messages.
No, not brown sugar. This is sugar as in the sweetness and syrup:
Singer Amy, 26, logged on to the social networking site at 7am to remind him about old times. She said: “I found a picture of you three boys in our old bathroom – I fink you’ll remember it.”
The three boys… a euphemism?
“You’re in the bath making Harry wash you hair and Fred’s jus smokin a salmon, leant up against the sink. Cool as f***. Love you. X”
No, no, dear readers. Ho-ho. The smoked salmon is a not an actual smoked salmon. Blaaaaake is no nice Jewish boy preparing a bagel filling by smoking a dead fish over a packet of smouldering Silk Cut or a warmed spoon. This salmon is a salmon trout, a snout, a fag, a ciggie.
Blaaaaaakkkkkke, who’s from Gloucestershire – that’s East Gloucestershire, innit -relies:
“Love you too innit and vairvair proud of youse, know dis lioness civilishous. X”
Blake writes in a voice that suggests he’s gargling a prawn while doing an impression of Prince Charles. And you can hear more of Blaaaaaaake’s airy tomes as he cooks and entertains on the hit Channel 4 dinner and bitching show Celebrity Come Dine With Me.
“Blizzle sizzle has got this no drugs ting boxed off. Turns out all I ever needed was a bit of self-respect an a bit of self-belief. Talking of self-respect I’m on Celebrity Come Dine With Me next week.”
Looks like Blaaaaake can be trusted with his own spoon after all. Of course, Blaake may be talking in Gloucestershire rhyming slang:
A Channel 4 sources says: “It would be a great story, but I’m afraid he isn’t lined up to do the show.”
Lined up… Another euphemism?
Come Line With Me will be broadcast every day until Blake and Amy reunite.