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Bill Clinton’s Top Ten David Letterman Jokes

by | 3rd, October 2009

bill-clinton-letterman DAVID Letterman sticks his tongue through his teeth and fesses up to shagging members of his staff. It’s an all-too- predictable story of a powerful man shtupping younger women keen to impress the boss and get ahead (fnar).

A story of enemies, the law and tapes . You may have heard the story before in the case of Bill Clinton.

Bill loved the ladies, and Dave loved that Bill provided him with easy material for his funnies. Like Bill, Dave has nicknames for women working under him (hit that snare drum). You can read them here . Here’s Dave:

“Today, Monica Lewinsky is 28,” he joked in 2001. “It seemed like just yesterday she was crawling around on the floor in the Oval Office.”

Monica Lewinsky’s Top Ten Nicknames for Bill Clinton”

10. Puffy the Intern Slayer
9. Sheriff Bubba
8. The Chief Sexecutive
7. Unnamed High-Ranking Official
6. My Sweet Impeachable You
5. The Little Rock Rascal
4. El Presidente del Armor
3. Tubby Dearest
2. Commander-in-Briefs
1. Free Willie 2

Via

“President Clinton has gotten himself a new dog. He’s teaching the dog to sit up, to beg, to roll over you know, just like he did with the interns.”

Via

“Now we hear that Monica has sued the President for $1,000,002.50. That’s one million for pain and suffering and $2.50 for dry cleaning.”

“I really have to hand it to the White House. Around here we can’t even get the interns to work the copy machine.”

Via

“Bill and Hillary Clinton helped drop the ball in Times Square on New Year’s Eve. But it was frigid. It was bitter cold, it was icy. And that’s just their marriage, ladies and gentlemen

Via

“You may think you have a stressful job, but since she’s been a Senator, Hillary Clinton, they say, put on 30 pounds. In fact, she has gotten so heavy that today Bill hit on her.”

“Celebrity birthdays, today Monica Lewinsky is 28. It seemed like just yesterday she was crawling around on the floor in the Oval Office.”

“No move ever goes smoothly. Today Clinton’s brand new desk arrived. He had to send it back, apparently not enough head room.”
David Letterman

Via

“Monica Lewinsky has her own show on HBO. I have not seen it yet but I understand it’s getting very good word of mouth.” -David Letterman

“Monica Lewinsky was on Larry King Live tonight. Monica really liked Larry King. Actually, she likes any guy with a desk.”

Via

“Over the weekend President Clinton’s dog Buddy died.

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Posted: 3rd, October 2009 | In: Celebrities, Key Posts Comment (1) | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed: RSS 2.0 | TrackBack | Permalink