Kellogg’s To Brand All Corn Flakes With Picture Of A Cock

A SPOT of PR from Kellogg’s, which tells us that it is so concerned about fake cereals that it has developed a laser to toast its company logo on to individual Corn Flakes.

Kellogg’s will try out the process and then - maybe – drops a few branded flakes of cone into each box.

Yeah, really. You buy the cereal and then before coating it in milk spot the outline of a proud cock. You splash on the milk and chomp down knowing that your breakfast is helping a huge American company grow rich. How’s that for satisfying?

Having branded tour conf flakes, Kellogg’s will then seat about labelling your Frosties with a huge demented tiger, Special K (the floor of a budgie’s cage ), Crunchy Nut (a smashed up flapjack) and Bran Flakes (sawdust).

Says Helen Lyons, a Kellogg’s food technologist:

“In recent years there has been an increase in the number of own brands trying to capitalise on the popularity of Kellogg’s corn flakes. We want shoppers to be under absolutely no illusion that Kellogg’s does not make cereal for anyone else.”

Those would the shoppers happily buying the other cereals that don’t carry the Kellogg’s logo, and maybe enjoying them?

“We’re constantly looking at new ways to reaffirm this and giving our golden flakes of corn an official stamp of approval could be the answer. We’ve established that it is possible to apply a logo or image onto food, now we need to see if there is a way of repeating it on large quantities of our cereal. We’re looking into it.”

What complete and utter tosh. Laser beams won’t do it. We demand excellence in our Kelloggs - we demand that each effigy is hand-etched by an artisan.

Of course, this could make Kellogg’s even more expensive than its rivals - but it will be a prize worth paying…

Anorak

Posted: 14th, October 2009 | In: The Consumer Comment (1) | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed: RSS 2.0 | TrackBack | Permalink