X Factor: Dermot O’Leary Wants Joe McElderry Locked Up

READ X Factor presenter Dermot O’Leary’s news column in the News of The World:

“The X Files - Dermot O’Leary’s brand new column reveals why John & Ed are still in it”

It’s Dermot ‘literally’ O’Leary right here on this page, literally. Dermot O’Leary, people. Coming right up. Literally. Any moment now…

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Dermot O’Leary will be right here on the Anorak pages, literally, here…

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Well, they did it. They defied the odds, they beat the boos and they rode roughshod over everyone’s expectations to make it through the first week unscathed.

They took the knocks, rode the wave, hit the highs, trawled the lows and literally scaled the scales. It’s John and Edward, Ireland’s late-developing answer to The Proclaimers, and the answer to the question ‘What’s more annoying than the Proclaimers’?

Dermot wants to tell you the secret of John & Edward’s success - and it’s not Edward & John, just as it’s not Renata & Renee, Lace & Black, Becks & Posh and Duran & Duran. The secret of their success is… they are so dire that you enjoy watching them for much the same reasons as you enjoy watching Dermot ‘Literally’ O’Leary, Cheryl Cole’s lip-syncing on a singing contest Dannii Minogue trying to regain control of her eyebrows and Simon Cowell doing an increasingly convincing impression of a hairy cue ball.

One thing Dermot does say that we can enjoy for more positive reasons is that Joe McElderry:

He’s already a winner. He’s been blessed with the keys of Newcastle by Queen Cheryl. If he wins, let’s hope he locks himself up there, or Britain won’t know what’s hit it.

When Dermot let go of Cliche Tune he can be engaging, literally.

Anorak

Posted: 18th, October 2009 | In: Celebrities Comments (4) | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed: RSS 2.0 | TrackBack | Permalink