Lindsay Lohan Dies In 2010: In Pictures

THE National Enquirer reports that Lindsay Lohan has “ONE YEAR TO LIVE”.

And then, decades to pop up on daytime telly shows to talk about what she used to get up when she felt so alive?

Well, no. The NE says Lohan will die in 2010. It’s not an altogether exact medical report, and only gets looser when we read that she might die.

Although the NE does have form as a ghoulish organ of record, correctly predicting Michael Jackson death. This week it also predicts that “ailing” Liz Taylor is “weeks from DEATH!” hwo many weeks, we do not know, but the guess is anything from 10 to 30,000.

Lohan’s death is also the opinion of a single unnamed “source”. And we should get second opinions from Messers Paxil, Zoloft, Xanax, Ativan, Valium, Adderall and all the other guys on the Serbian soft ball team who think Lindsay is “ace”, and are all namechecked in the article.

But we know that Lindsay will not die in 2010. We have peered into the future, envisaged via the prism of Whitney Museum’s Gala in New York.

And we have glimpsed that while not all is good, it is better than the NE fears…

All the pictures of Lindsay Lohan past, present and future here…

Anorak

Posted: 20th, October 2009 | In: Key Posts, National Enquirer Comment | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed: RSS 2.0 | TrackBack | Permalink