Mr Cheryl Cole: Ashley Cole Explains His XXXX XXX Factor

ASHLEY COLE is hard to like for any number of reasons. In a bid to find a new one, the NoTW interviews Mr Cheryl Cole in “THE FALL AND RISE”.

Cole has been here before, trying to be unloved in print. In his book My Defence – is there any evidence Cole read it, let alone wrote it? – the former Arsenal player described the build up to his transfer to Chelsea

My heart and soul was tied to Arsenal with a fisherman’s knot. I don’t think even Houdini could have unravelled it. Not for one minute did I see myself leaving…That was before something precious was smashed into tiny pieces.

Can you smash a knot? You can. Because in his book, Cole was the unluckiest man in the world.

“A brief meeting with Pini Zahavi was interrupted by a knock on the door. In walked the Chelsea manager and chief executive, there was general chit-chat and then we left.”

But that might have been the best bit. Having talked weather, crockery and plate tectonics with Jose Mourinho, the then Chelsea manager, Cole delivered the delightfully struck own goal (cut this out and print it on a T-shirt):

“One telephone call changed everything about how I viewed and felt about Arsenal. ‘Ash! Are you listening? I’m here in the office and David Dein is saying they aren’t going to give you £60k a week. They’ve agreed £55k and this is their best and final offer. Are you happy with that?’ I nearly swerved off the road. ‘He is taking the piss, Jonathan!’ I yelled down the phone. I was so incensed, I was trembling with anger. I couldn’t believe what I’d heard’.”

No ready to meet Ashley Cole again in print, we read on:

The first thing you notice is the smile. Full wattage, main beam, constant. Then there’s the tone of voice. Quiet, philosophical, accepting. No snarl, no swagger, no excuses. Just complete honesty in an attempt to state his case, not change anybody’s perceptions of him.

Do you want more? Neil Ashton seems to be auditioning for the job as ghost writer on Cole’s next tome:

The world’s finest full-back content to let people make their own judgements of him without any hint of rancour.

Very big of him.

There are ground rules. No questions about Cheryl – “the missus” – and no air-brushing.

Cheryl mentioned. Cheryl unmentioned.

If, after this interview, Cole is still demonised, so be it.

Demonised? It’s wasn’t Ashley Cole’s fault he looks like a vomitous greedy so-and-so, it was ours.

“I will be retired in five or six years and then the people who hate me can move on to someone else.”

Do they have to move on?

“Getting arrested last March was my lowest point. It was like a domino effect, with one thing after another. When I was in the police cell for five hours I could see the headlines and it was like I was the devil man.”

Sympathy for the Devil, if you please:

He was arrested by police when he emerged from The Collection nightclub in Kensington, handcuffed after swearing at preying paparazzi. Then he was plastered all over newspapers for all the wrong reasons.

Read about that here.

He was fined £80 for a public order offence after his brush with the law. “I swore at the paparazzi, but the policewoman took offence,” he adds.

And then – and remember this is the Ashley Cole who compared himself to being a “slave”:

At times he still feels like a prisoner, trapped in his own home because a night out is just one misplaced word away from trouble.

Ashley Cole is a virtual prisoner because if he goes out and behaves badly or illegally – there is talk he even cheated on his wife, twice - he gets in trouble.

He accepts his salary and the lifestyle that goes with being married to the nation’s favourite pop star has its downfalls.

Anyone else weeping? And then this:

“It’s my private life. I don’t actually want any publicity or go looking for it, I just want to play football and quietly get on with my life.”

So says Ashley Cole, who brought to the market his autobiography (serialised in the Times) and advertised the National Lottery and sold his wedding to OK! magazine.

And in case you feel that Ashley is still not a victim, he cocks an ear to the football fans:

“They take it too far, but it’s not just me. What they say about our wives, our mums our families is nasty. We have to put up with that. It affects me. I can hear them and I will think ‘How can they sing that?’

“There are times when I want to turn around and say ‘Do you actually understand what you’re saying?’ but if you do that you let them win. That’s why there is a perception that we are detached from the fans. We feel powerless.”

Powerless. Ashley Cole feels powerless. It’s not him. It’s the powers that be…

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Posted: 25th, October 2009 | In: Sports Comment (1) | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed: RSS 2.0 | TrackBack | Permalink