Hello!: Samantha Burke Introduces Jude Law’s Daughter Sophia For £185,000

IN this week’s Hello! magazine, Samantha Burke introduces Jude Law’s baby daughter Sophie and tells their “amazing story”.

Prepare to be amazed. Sophia has two eyes. Gasp! Sophia has two legs! Swoon! Sophia was conceived out of wedlock when Jude dated Samantha for a period that may actually be shorter than her 25 hour labour. WowZA!

Sophia weighed in at 5lb 12oz, which in gold and cocaine prices is not bad, but in celebrity prices is diamond, earning mum £185,000, reportedly, for this 14-page photoshoot alone. She tosses the words in for free:

“Her features are more like Jude’s. She has his chin and nose, and she does a little pout that I notice that he’s done before. I think her eyes are more like mine, though.”

Eyes flashing on and off, each blink accompanied by the lilting “kerching”? Just a guess. Or something more amazing?

“You can’t always tell when they’re so young but they don’t have that big, glassy look that his do - mine are a little smaller and more like hers.”

Smaller can be a euphermism for beady. And as for Jude’s peepers looking as big and glassy as any man’s sat in a Hooter’s outlet nursing his frozen Wallbanger, well, who can blame him? And, by the way, Samantha is no gold digger:

“It really hurt. I have never dated a guy for money. All my ex-boyfriends were just normal guys.”

And had these other guys squired a child by Samantha, she’d surely have sold pictures of it too, in the pages of Plant Machinery Weekly, Miniature Donkey Talk, What Boat? or what ever magazine was relevant to them.

It’s just totally amazing.

Anorak

Posted: 26th, October 2009 | In: Hello!, Key Posts Comments (4) | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed: RSS 2.0 | TrackBack | Permalink