Jedward: In Interview John & Edward Grimes Are As Naked As The Day They Were Born

X Factor Watch: Anorak’s at-a-glance look at the X Factor in the news: How John & Edward Grimes – aka Jedward – threaten world peace, kill the show, put on a show and are naked as the day they wer born.

Daily Star (front page): “X FACTOR BRATS: WE’LL WIN”

X FACTOR is in a deep crisis because both the tone-deaf Grimes twins and the bookies believe they are sure to win. It is a hammer blow to telly guru Simon Cowell, who fears teenagers John and Edward could kill off the show.

Like Steve Brookstein did. Like Alexandra Burke did. Like Shayne Ward did. Like Leon Jackson did. They are all past winners of the TV talent show that cannot be killed by conventional karaoke singers. But what say the twins?

John: Every week the judges give their acts a song. We always take it on board and work the hardest to get it in tip-top shape. But the other acts, they kind of go: ‘Oh, that’s not our style…’ We go with what we’re given, even songs we don’t even know. We’d never heard of She Bangs and had to learn the words and a dance routine last week.

The dance routine was learnt by watching a fly after a left wing and right leg had been broken. As for the filthy lyrics:

Talk to me
Tell me your name
You blow me off like it’s all the same

Edward: “We don’t just stay in our comfort zone. We go that extra bit further than we have to.”

John & Edward’s comfort zone is as a novelty key ring in a packet of Skittles.

Edward: the others thinks it’s “a singing competition” while “we do a full-on performance as if you’re at a concert”.

That’s the end of term concert at a small provincial secure institution.

John: “We’re not just doing one thing. We’re doing three things at once. It’s really weird because as the weeks go by everyone’s kind of chilling.”

Feel that chilling run down your spine when John & Edward approach?

John: “We have no time for chilling. They’re like: ‘We just have to sing a song’. But us, we have to focus on a dance routine along with the song. We have no time to chill.”

So c-c-c-c-cold.

The show’s choreographer Brian Friedman, 32, adds:

“They need medication those two, to calm themselves down. If I could just staple their mouths, even better.”

And then this – listen up Liz Taylor, they speak of HIM:

And he begged TV bosses not to stage a Michael Jackson tribute week. Brian, 32, added: “It would be blasphemous if the twins sang one of his songs.”

Daily Mirror, Coleen Nolan: “X Factor twins John and Edward make me snap”

They look like Snap, Crackle and Pop, those annoying characters from old Rice Krispies ads, but to Britain’s bookies they must seem like Satan’s little helpers…

Snap, Crackle and Pop… There are three of them? John and Edward are multiplying!

Lying side by side in an incubator – complete with matching baby quiffs – the boys were fighting for their lives after being born three months early and weighing just 2lbs. So however much we might have a giggle/groan/cringe (take your pick) at these two lads every Saturday night, they certainly know a thing or two about battling to survive – and in a way that’s a whole lot more important than on a TV reality show.

No it isn’t. A reality TV show is bigger than life, in a way.

Daily Telegraph. Bryony Gordon:

Let’s finish on a slightly cheerier note, that being The X Factor. Whatever you think of the programme, it has produced some unlikely stars. No, not blond twins John and Edward (aka “Jedward”), but three teenagers called Connor, Kenny and Amir, who have a stall outside the contestants’ house to cater for all the screaming girls besieging it. As Simon Cowell would say, that’s what I call a class act.

What are they selling?

Twinmania was rife as dozens donned creepy Jedward masks - while some enterprising teens set up a food stall to sell crisps, chocolate and fizzy drinks to the hundreds who were there.

Sweeties. Crisps. It’s a mobile Paedophile Shop.

The Guardian, Deborah Orr: “The X Factor: Now talent comes second”

Civil disobedience has hit this series of The X Factor hard, with people voting for the personalities they perceive to be attractive, rather than performance. Does no one have proper respect for gameshows any longer? Danyl, pitch perfect, hangs on by a thread, because nobody likes him. John and Edward, tone deaf, are sitting pretty, because they’re a laugh.

Ha! Ha! Gibber! Gibber! Twitch! Chortle! And it’s getting worse. This is war of Jedward’s Ears! Civil disobedience will be squashed!

The Sun: “Twinmania: Now it has upset China”

X FACTOR has sparked an international row after the Chinese Ambassador living next door to contestants protested about fans. .. Ambassador Madam Fu Ying [make that Madame Fu-Ming – eh, readers] who entertains guests at the property, is “very irritated” by fans constantly screaming, creating litter and scrawling graffiti on the gates to the upmarket property.

Send in the tanks!

Her intercom buzzer and border fence was said to be defaced with love messages for hopefuls Olly Murs, 25, Lloyd Daniels, 16, and Rachel Adedeji, 18. A spokesman for the Chinese Embassy, who has had the house in Golders Green, North London, since 1959, said: “I can confirm there was a complaint. The reason is several times late at night and early in the mornings the teenage fans were noisy and disturbing.”

John & Edward - living proof that the Chinese policy of one child one family can work.

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Anorak

Posted: 29th, October 2009 | In: Celebrities, Key Posts Comments (8) | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed: RSS 2.0 | TrackBack | Permalink