Kai Wayne Rooney, Birth Of A Brand
AND lo it came to pass that professional ordinary girl Coleen Rooney, wife of England footballer Wayne Rooney, has given birth to Kai Wayne, a boy child.
Kai is named in honour of his mum’s love of throat singing, as practiced by the people of Tuva, in southern Siberia, it’s easy to spell and Kay-Wayne makes him sound like a west cosst rapper.
A spokesman tells us:
“Mother and baby are both absolutely fine. Wayne and Coleen are thrilled with the wonderful addition to their family life.”
And the bookmakers get to laying odds:
100-1 - (William Hill) – Kai Rooney plays Premier League football
66-1 - (Coral; 150-1 Hills) - Kai Rooney plays football for England
33-1 – Kai tells his mum to “fuck off” before his 12th birthday
24-1 – Coleen replaces Kai’s pram with a mobile carrier bag
7-1 - Kai works in TV
5-1 – Kai’s first word is “****!”
3-1 - Coleen is Celebrity Mum Of The Year
2-1 – Kai’s name appears on his dad’s neck
Evens – Kai has a better toy car than your company car
Evens - Coleen releases the Oh-Kai range of children’s books and children’s wear
Kai Wayne Rooney – let the staring and presenting begin…
Posted: 2nd, November 2009 | In: Sports Comments (8) | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed: RSS 2.0 | TrackBack | Permalink
Comments
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November 3rd, 2009 at 2:59 pm
I hear it all day every day thank you very much
November 3rd, 2009 at 2:23 pm
…you’re all carping on a bit about this now…..
November 3rd, 2009 at 1:41 pm
Just a wee bit…. shame you can’t hear my ‘I’m Gavin from Autoglass’ impression.
November 3rd, 2009 at 10:32 am
Yes but Koi Cole works as well. Are you being regionish?
November 3rd, 2009 at 10:28 am
Surely in Brum it would be Koi as in fish?
November 3rd, 2009 at 7:53 am
Kai as in sky or Kai as in day
It makes no difference in Brum! Kai Cole still works. Bostin!
November 2nd, 2009 at 7:35 pm
Isn’t it Kai as in sky?
I quite like Coleen. She’s been with Wayne since way before he was famous so isn’t a WAG as such and she does do a lot of charity work and fund-raising.
They may spend lots but they earn lots……
Even Wayne has settled down into not such a bad lad after all!
Good luck to them and congratulations on their baby. all new parents deserve congratulations at this time, not criticism!
November 2nd, 2009 at 5:53 pm
Let’s hope the trend continues with Ashley and Cheryl. I would love to see a Kai Cole in the news