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Anorak | Kai Wayne Rooney, Birth Of A Brand

Kai Wayne Rooney, Birth Of A Brand

by | 2nd, November 2009

216AND lo it came to pass that professional ordinary girl Coleen Rooney, wife of England footballer Wayne Rooney, has given birth to Kai Wayne, a boy child.

Kai is named in honour of his mum’s love of throat singing, as practiced by the people of Tuva, in southern Siberia,  it’s easy to spell and Kay-Wayne makes him sound like a west cosst rapper.

A spokesman tells us:

“Mother and baby are both absolutely fine. Wayne and Coleen are thrilled with the wonderful addition to their family life.”

And the bookmakers get to laying odds:

100-1 – (William Hill) – Kai Rooney plays Premier League football
66-1 – (Coral; 150-1 Hills) – Kai Rooney plays football for England
33-1 – Kai tells his mum to “fuck off” before his 12th birthday
24-1 – Coleen replaces Kai’s pram with a mobile carrier bag
7-1 – Kai works in TV
5-1 – Kai’s first word is “****!”
3-1 – Coleen is Celebrity Mum Of The Year
2-1 – Kai’s name appears on his dad’s neck
Evens – Kai has a better toy car than your company car
Evens – Coleen releases the Oh-Kai range of children’s books and children’s wear

Kai Wayne Rooney – let the staring and presenting begin…



Posted: 2nd, November 2009 | In: Sports Comments (8) | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed: RSS 2.0 | TrackBack | Permalink