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Katie Price’s Marries A Toffee Crisp And Peter Andre’s Other Woman Confesses

by | 3rd, November 2009

7976717OK! magazine continues the push the limits of trades descriptions as it tries to eek more sensation from the predictable life of Katie Price, aka Jordan.

In “KATIE PRICE – ‘We can’t wait for our wedding day’”, the OK! cover sees Katie dandling her kidzzz under her pendant charcoal drawn eyebrows over a picture of she and Toffee Crisp-dusted Alex Reid looking smoochy.

Anyone who expects to read about Katie and Alex’s big day is either a fool, a bigger fool or someone who has never bought OK! before. Eight pages into a Halloween photoshoto in which Katie appears as a neon Jack-o-lantern and hr progeny Princess Tiaminimeeeee takes on the guise of a young Marty Feldman channelling Danniella Westbrook, we get:

OK!: Do you still believe in marriage?
KP: Absolutely. I definitely want to get married again.

While OK! bites the head off Peter Andre cake dummy and dust off the terracotta orchestra for any upcoming spectacular, Katie says she has been haunted. Can a person be haunted? Is there a spooky echo in Katie’s cavern?

Helo-o-o-o-o…. Anybody in there-ere-ere-ere?

Katie then says she went on the top of Devil’s Dyke in Brighton, which is not a drag club but an actual geographic feature. Katie’s friend took pictures of Katie in the dark. When they got them developed there was a “shining aura” around the mo-del.

Some say it’s magick. Other says it’s the glare from her top coat sheen and that she is over-exposed?

In other news,:

“PETE’S OTHER WOMAN SPEAKS ONLY TO OK! ‘THE TRUTH ABOUT OUR AFFAIR.’”

So unerringly dull is Peter Andre, that the brightest thing about him is not his skin tons but his agent, the burly Claire Powell:

To put the record straight, Peter Andre is not shagging Claire Powell. But both Claire and Peter are f****** the life out of his corpse of a marriage to Katie Price…



Posted: 3rd, November 2009 | In: OK! Comment | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed: RSS 2.0 | TrackBack | Permalink