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Anorak | Boris Mayor Chooses Oiks Over Scum In Nick Of Time

Boris Mayor Chooses Oiks Over Scum In Nick Of Time

by | 4th, November 2009

7990671 SUSPICIONS are that London mayor Boris Johnson would have rescued a woman under attack from an armed group of young girls has he been able to think of what to shout at them sooner.

Boris’s initial reaction was to yell “FU**ING ADA”, followed by “C****S!” But to do so would be unbecoming to his stranding as a likeable toff.

As Boris thinks, Franny Armstrong is surrounded in Camden, north London. A girl pushes her. Another girl has an iron bar. Others have hoods.

And all the while Boris is thinking.

“SCUM!” Too 1970s.

“WANKERS!” Too sexist.

“PAEDOS!” An overreaction?

“RAPSCALLIONS!” Too long-winded, and possessed of anti-rap music undertones.

“SCALLYWAGS!” Liverpool hates him enough, so it might be worth a try.

Boris gathers himself:

“OIKS!”

Ms Armstrong hears

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Posted: 4th, November 2009 | In: Key Posts, Politicians Comment (1) | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed: RSS 2.0 | TrackBack | Permalink