Scientists Farm Erect Penis Tissue For Rabbits And Paedophiles

SCIENTISTS have engineered penis tissue, and tested it on rabbits. This penis tissue is capable of erecting. As such, it will be sold by weight and not by the yard.

Boffins at Wake Forest University in North Carolina have tested the substance on rabbits, a demographic that will give the tissue a decent work out. Further test will should see the tissue tested on package tour reps and any surviving members of the 1920s’ boyband acts. It will then be yours.

Then, finally, the giant pandas will get to have a turn.

Professor Anthony Atala tells us:

“Further studies are required, of course, but our results are encouraging and suggest that the technology has considerable potential for patients who need penile reconstruction.

“Our hope is that patients with congenital abnormalities, penile cancer, traumatic injury and some cases of erectile dysfunction will benefit from this technology in the future.”

It’s great news not only for the penis deprived but for anyone who ever wanted skin that could replay joy on touch. Penis skin could enable pianists to truly become aroused during the playing of passionate pieces, goalkeepers to stretch the final inch to make the save and lap dance enthusisasts to wear the skin on their foreheads as a “mood gage” to grade the dancers.

Paedos - i.e. all men - will have the skin stitched to their faces in a strip that when aroused covers their eyes.

Spotter: Yampster

Anorak

Posted: 10th, November 2009 | In: Strange But True Comment | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed: RSS 2.0 | TrackBack | Permalink