I’m A Celebrity: Katie Price’s Lesbian Milf Affair And Therapy

I’M A Celebrity Watch: Anorak’s daily look at the jungle show in the news: Katie Price’s jungle therapy, lesbian affair, Milf credentials and proud kids.

Katie Price is not yet in the overgrown Blue Peter garden – but she still manages to be the only contestant to feature on any tabloid front pages.

In readiness for Jordan’s arrival, a swinging bench love seat has been erected on the spot where Peter Andre and Jordan fell for each other in 2004.

Producer Marty Benson admitted: “We want canoodling. The swing offers them some privacy. Hopefully they’ll talk about the other people in the camp. It’s surrounded by cameras, so we’ll capture everything they do on the swing. It’s located where Peter Andre wrote Insania in series three. It seemed appropriate somehow.”

Daily Star: “MY GIRL ON GIL JUNGLE LUST”

Katie Price has heard that Samantha Fox is a lesbian. Not a lesbian who pushes her big naked chest into another girl’s chest on Page 3 or has had her breasts groped by Trinny ‘The Tranny’ Woodall or Gok Wan, but an actual lesbian.

You know like, er, celebrity jungle alumni Janice Dickinson:

Janice, 54, who has flown to Australia for the ITV2 spin-off show Get Me Out Of Here Now, told the Daily Star: “Jordan is great. We had a lesbian affair on the flight over. It was great. We joined the mile high club. I didn’t know her until now.”

Not a grope on the flight but a full-blown affair, with dates, furtive texts, tears, melancholic taxi rides through rainy streets and loadsa shagging.

So expect lots of lesbian sex. As the Sun says:

Fumble in the jungle? Not at any Price

Phwoaar!!! In other news, we look at Katie’s mental health:

Daily Mirror: “I’m NOT nuts”

Beneath a picture of Katie Price looking like she emerged from Dr Frankenstein’s Cosmetic Studios - a child beauty pageant heads stuck onto a pair of Ford fiesta airbags and Barbies body – readers hear:

“For others, it’s a game show. For me, it’s closure. I’m going back to a place where a big fairytale began for me.

“I met my husband, I had two more beautiful children and six years on I’ve been married, divorced, ready to go back in. I’ve had a crap year and the fairytale has ended. I’m going in for closure.”

It’s not a telly show - it’s a place for Jordan to exorcise her demons. It’s therapy.

“People think I’m breaking down, I’ve lost the plot, I’m not a good mum, I’m a man-eater. They’ve got all these perceptions but I think that when people see me again, like last time, they’ll see I’m grounded, if not more grounded.”

See the Daily Star’s story all-too-unbelievable story about her being grounded aboard a Jumbo Jet Down Under before she sucks down a kangaroos genitals. This one’s for you, Pete. And the kids:

She said of her three children: “They’ll be able to watch me on telly and be proud of their mum.” But she also announced: “I am the jungle MILF” - referring to the cheeky term for “mum I’d like to f***”.

Mum I’d Like To **** is “cheeky” to the Sun. It makes you wonder what the tabloids consider crude.

Here’s Jordan to save a telly show that doesn’t need saving.

Anorak

Posted: 16th, November 2009 | In: Celebrities, Key Posts Comments (4) | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed: RSS 2.0 | TrackBack | Permalink