Pete Doherty’s Heart Failure Competes With Jennifer Lopez Fallen Bum Compete For The Best Excuse Of The Year

IN NME, Pete Doherty tells readers that he was on a life support machine in Swindon’s Great Western Hospital when his heart stopped a few weeks back. And Jennifer Lopez explains how she came for fall on her backside at the American Music Awards.

What happened, Peter Doherty? He explains:

“If I hadn’t been on a life support machine I’d have been in Ireland. But my heart stopped. It was a really strange turn of events.”

Yeah. Far out.

“Obviously, the doctors’ immediate thought was that it was to do with drugs but it wasn’t - it was some kind of poisoning.”

Bad drugs?

“What happened? Well, I don’t know, I don’t remember. At the time I thought I was a taxi driver offering to take everyone to Elephant And Castle.”

Well, if the pop career doesn’t work out there always career in rhyming slang.

“I was running into the walls, making steering wheel signs with my hands. And then I just… stopped. My body just stopped.”

The poison, right?

“The doctors are concerned about my heart rate. I’ve always had a slight dickie heart, I was born with it. I’m fragile in there, you know?”

As excuses go, this one’s up there with Alex Reid’s business meetings and Jennifer Lopez’s reason for falling on her arse at the AMA music AGM:

“Did I? Did I? Did I trip a little bit? I don’t even remember,” Lopez said with a chuckle. “Yeah, I meant to do that. You should know me better than that. That was part of the choreography… The measure of things is not what happens when you fall, it’s how you recover when you fall.”

Peter Doherty is listening…

Anorak

Posted: 24th, November 2009 | In: Celebrities Comment | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed: RSS 2.0 | TrackBack | Permalink