Tiger Woods Car Crash: Elin Nodegren’s Kobe Grip And Rachel Uchitel Denies
EVER since Tiger Woods crashed his car into a tree golfers have been celebrating the news that golf is not a boring sport for misogynists on milk floats. Golf is edgy and dangerous. Golf writers have been weeping for joy that finally they can write about something other than a ball going into a hole and how a grown man shakes hands with his wood.
The story so far, featuring swimsuit-clad Elin Nordegren and not Rachel Uchitel: The Tiger Woods minor car crash news round-up
Daily Express (front page): “Police to interview Tiger’s wife Elin over his mystery car crash”
No need, coppers because over on the Daily Mail’s front page we learn:
“I’m to blame, not my wife, says Tiger”
But what can we blame him for – turning Roger Federer into the world’s dullest sporstman and inviting the Swiss ace’s wife to test those racket strings against his car windscreen? (Yesterday, police spokesman Kim Montes said both rear passenger windows on the luxury vehicle had been smashed.) Again the answer comes on another front page, this time the Telegraph’s:
“Breaking cover: The girls said to be Tiger’s birdie”.
No, it’s not Tiger’s wife. This is former Pink Elephant parking employee Rachel Uchitel. She denies any affair with Woods. And that’s the end of the matter. Right? The Mirror’s front page wants more:
“TELLS US THE TRUTH TIGER”
But Tiger has yet to talk to the Florida Highway Patrol:
“The troopers went to the house to see if they could speak with Mr. Woods. Mr. Woods’ attorney was present and told investigators that Mr. Woods was unavailable for an interview. Mr. Wood’s attorney provided the troopers with Mr. Woods’ driver’s license information, registration and current proof of insurance as required by Florida Law. The crash investigation is ongoing and charges are pending.”
Tiger can’t talk right now because he’s on his website, blogging this:
As you all know, I had a single-car accident earlier this week, and sustained some injuries. I have some cuts, bruising and right now I’m pretty sore. This situation is my fault, and it’s obviously embarrassing to my family and me. I’m human and I’m not perfect. I will certainly make sure this doesn’t happen again.
This is a private matter and I want to keep it that way. Although I understand there is curiosity, the many false, unfounded and malicious rumors that are currently circulating about my family and me are irresponsible.
The only person responsible for the accident is me. My wife, Elin, acted courageously when she saw I was hurt and in trouble. She was the first person to help me. Any other assertion is absolutely false.
This incident has been stressful and very difficult for Elin, our family and me. I appreciate all the concern and well wishes that we have received. But, I would also ask for some understanding that my family and I deserve some privacy no matter how intrusive some people can be.
This is a private matter as Tiger ways on his, er, website. But if you want some public clues, stay focused on Elin Woods’ fingers. No, not for clues on what grip she uses for wielding a golf club, but for sings of bling:
During the phone conversation on Friday, Tiger told his friend, “I have to run to Zales to get a ‘Kobe Special.'” The person on the other end of the phone asked Tiger what a “Kobe Special” was. The reply — “A house on a finger.”
During the conversation, Tiger said his wife had “gone ghetto” on him.
What’s a Kobe?
When Kobe Bryant was accused of touching parts not belonging to Vanessa Bryant, he immediately apologized to his wife by making her finger sparkle like she just gave RPattz a prostate exam.
As for Rachel Uchitel, well, the alleged 19th hole is profiled in the Mail:
Self-destructive party girl who loves married men
Meanwhile, golf writers, whose newsbeat now takes in attractive women and night clubs are thought to be organising a massive “Thank You” card for Tiger…
Posted: 30th, November 2009 | In: Key Posts, Sports Comments (5) | TrackBack | Permalink
