I’m A Celebrity Censors Sex Scenes

IN this week’s Closer magazine, Katie Price wants Peter Andre back, Jedward hear voices, Dannii Minogue quits the X Factor and those I’m A Celebrity sex scenes they didn’t want you to see…

DID you know that Jordan’s “MASTER PLAN” was to “dump Alex [Reid] weeks ago so she and Pete can reunite over the kids”?

Did you also know that “ALL I WANT FOR XMAS IS PETE”?

Closer magazine knows. These words appear on its front page.

Inside, we get the usual round-up of the past week’s speculation that you can read online. But we do hear from Alex Reid’s mum who says it was “very cruel the way [Katie] spoke about Alex”.

Moving on through the magazine we call Groser, readers learn that Victoria Beckham spends “at least 21/2 hours perfecting her appearance every day”.

On top of this she “works out for 45 minutes every day”. This news is equipped with a quote from Sticky Vicky:

“I eat salad. And I start off every day with a double espresso. Then I get on the running machine and I run like a bat out of hell.”

Do bats run?

In other explosive Closer news:

“Dannii Minogue could quit [X Factor] to focus on having a family”

“’Amy and Blake want to remarry’ say pals

We then catch up with Jedward:

Edward: “I’ll start humming a song and John will says, ‘I’m singing that in my head.’”

And in his head it sounds fantastic. Then the mouth gets involved and its all get messy…

Finally, we meet I’m A Celebrity “star” Colin McAllister, who “admits secret fumbles in the jungle with partner Justin Ryan”.

Having failed to deliver lesbian sex or a boy-girl romance, can it be that the I’m A Celebrity producers ignored gay sex? Is one form of sexuality taboo in the jungle?

On the I’m A Celebrity website, we leanr: “Everyone loves a bit of jungle romance.” Well, so long as it’s a boy girl, and the boy and the girl and young and firm, like Sabrina Washington and Stuart Manning.