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Anorak | Peter Andre’s First Christmas Alone And Katie Price’s Gift

Peter Andre’s First Christmas Alone And Katie Price’s Gift

by | 23rd, December 2009

peter-andre102PETER Andre is on the cover of this week’s OK! and he’s pulling a cracker. Ho-ho. No, Peter isn’t with an insignificant other. Peter is pulling a cracker – a silver one with his children Junior Peter Andre and Princess Tianabananaramaminimi. This is “OUR FIRST CHRISTMAS ALONE”.

Just Peter. The kidzzzz. And the OK! photographers and syrup miners.

We meet Peter dabbled with snow and cuddling his progeny before a wooden door. It looks like a barn in Bethlehem. Although it might be a garage in Sussex? Peter Andre is ever keen to show us his children. It’s almost as if he expects someone to make him an offer for them. (“I’ll give you £350 for the mini Junior and a year’s subscription to Hare & Hounds for the girl. Deal?”)

OK! then says the Peter “dazzled every women he meet without even trying”.

Anorak put it to the test and couriered a copy of Peter’s smile to Phuket, where old Mr Anorak, our patron, is taking the Thai ladies’ ping-pong team’s winter training camp. Five of the girls said “yes”, they will marry him, but no cooking on Tuesdays, three said he’d look great on a keychain and the rest agreed that they’d rather be tied to a radiator and made to drink Terry Waite’s urine.

Meanwhile Peter covers his teeth in a Santa-style beard and tells us that if he doesn’t get to be with the kids of Christmas Day he’ll be disappointed. He has “no comment to make” on whether Katie Price will be buying him a gift. Which is a comment.

And this is the problem with sentimental Peter Andre: his dignity which can be mistaken for dullness. There can be no doubt that Katie Price made him the tabloid fodder he is today. But he needs to move on and rather than talking on and on and on about Katie Price he seems to have decided to talk instead about his kidzzzz.

Of the 23 question OK! puts to Peter Andre, he mentions his kidzzz in 15 answers.

Of course, it’s just part of the dignified silence that Pete and Katie have been keeping for the past seven months…



Posted: 23rd, December 2009 | In: OK! Comment | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed: RSS 2.0 | TrackBack | Permalink