Celebrity Big Brother Launch Photos And Live Blog

BIG Brother: Alex Reid (Mr Toffee Crisp 2010), Nicola T (as in T & eh?), Stephen Baldwin (My prunes, dude?), Stephanie Beacham (not Joan Collins (NSFW), the other one), Lady Sovereign (from Kevin and Perry Go Large), Sisco (Knickers! He pants – literally), Dane Bowers (Toe Job to Any Job), Heidi Fleiss (What Heidi did next), Basshunter (smell fish (NSFW)?), Katie Ivanova (kiss ‘n’ no tell – a romance in pictures) and Vinnie Jones (hard man gonad grappler)…

First in is Stephen Baldwin, who has perfected the face of a man holding it together, and in. Baldwin has stopped breathing through his mouth for Jesus. Baldwin is one of the acting Baldwin brothers, who are all less famous than the Baldwin brother called Alec.

Nicola T is next. Nicola is ordinary in an ordinary sort of way. She has breasts. Two. This makes her a celebrity.

Stephanie Beacham - We’ve heard of her. Alex Reid hasn’t. He wins. (Joan Collins was busy).

Lady Sovereign – The rapper rebel. So says Davina McCall. The rebal is the one on, er, Big Brother. She looks like Perry from Kevin Go Large. Anyone seen them together? Lady S was born Louise Harman. She married Sir Percy Sovering, a man who made a fortune in lino and barrel scrapers.

Sisco - He sang The Thong Song. Yeahs, knickers! He sings. He pants. He thonhs. He pants some more. He’s getting older…

Dane Bowers – From Toe Job to Any Old Job. That a bruise over his eye? Has Peter Andre put on weight?

Heidi Fleiss - She’s not off her face. But she might be off someone’s face. Hey, it’s Hollywood – you can be whoever you want. No, really. She looks great. Our tip to walk. Heidi-hi!

Basshunter – “I love sex and I have a large willy.” Talent. Man most likely to play tennis. The fish fancier fish fancier.

Katie Ivanova - The one show shagged the least famous member of the Rolling Stones. No. No. No. Not her. No. No. No. Her? No. Carry on…

Vinnie Jones – You like hard men?