Cheryl Cole Soaps Up For ‘Sick’ Ashley Cole
CHERYL Cole would like Glamour readers to know that when she gets home of a night Ashley Cole is not sick on her or putting in for a transfer. In fact, he’s a real gent, a maid man:
“Last night, he ran me a bath, made me a cup of tea, and got my razor and shaving foam for me. He’s just ace.”
It’s a tableau of domestic bliss, a pastel-hued dream sequence from a biopic into Cheryl’s life. And as Ashley holds up his wedding suit for Cheryl to shave in, we read more about new man Ashley Cole:
“The other day was the first time Ashley actually broke down to me about it all.”
Broke down about what all?
“He called from a garage and said: ‘I feel sick…’”
Aimee Walton was working the cash register?
“…I’m on the cover of every magazine because, apparently, I’ve made you cry.”
It’s pretty unclear that Ashley Cole broke down for. Cheryl says stories about Ashley making her cry are “all rubbish”. Might it be that Ashley is crying for himself? Ashley has a history of victimhood. He was unlucky enough to be in room when Jose Mourinho wandered in. He was unlucky when he was offered an insulting £55,000 a week by Arsenal (although luckily he never crashed his car). And he’s the alleged victim of paparazzi chasers as she speeds in his sports car.
Of course, Cheryl Cole is the national treasure (you might have missed that meeting), which means that in the media narrative Ashley is the opposite: a national embarrassment, a national empty sarcophagus or a lump of fresh phlegm coughed up by a hoody on a stolen push bike and gobbed in the face of a war veteran.
Problem is that Ashley Cole might be an alright bloke. But… Nah! There no more chance of you reading that then there is of Simon Cowell saying that folksy Cheryl is an over-hyped, over-exposed, squeaky singer with a record for hitting a toilet attendant who thanks to a pretty face and amazing management got lucky…
Posted: 13th, January 2010 | In: Celebrities Comments (18) | TrackBack | Permalink
