Anorak | Goldman Sachs Staff Paid In Baby Organs And Elements

Goldman Sachs Staff Paid In Baby Organs And Elements

by | 22nd, January 2010

needle-camelNEWS that Goldman Sachs’ staff are to reach get a small island each and their own weight in newborn babies’ organs has angered many. Gordon Brown says he is determined that bankers be reigned in, although not those bankers already advising his Government. The other ones.

But how do you pay bankers the money they deserve when they already have it all? You need to give them something else, like babies’ organs, yet-to-be-discovered galaxies and some of the bigger elements. The chairman gets to own oxygen, his PA argon and so on down the chain of command.

Goldman took bail-out cash from Washington and now pays huge bonuses to its staff.
Goldman bought $20 billion worth of insurance from AIG and got, reportedly, scooped $13 billion when Washington saved that firm. Goldman’s got $10 billion from Washington’s Troubled Asset Relief Program (Tarp) – which it paid back.

As Goldman’s boss, Mr Lloyd Blankfein – no, not Bank Fine. Okay, it is Bank Fine, says:

“We help companies to grow by helping them to raise capital. Companies that grow create wealth. This, in turn, allows people to have jobs that create more growth and more wealth. It’s a virtuous cycle. We have a social purpose.”

The company made $4.95bn (£3.06bn) between September and December, compared with a loss of $2.12bn in the same period in 2008. The BBC’s business editor Robert Peston said that the compensation came to about $500,000 per head at the bank.

Goldman’s is not “a great vampire squid wrapped around the face of humanity, relentlessly jamming its blood funnel into anything that smells like money.”

Goldman’s is the money.

In other money news, Somali pirates say they will kill British sailors unless they get money.

Image: the news Goldman Sachs-size needle.

Posted: 22nd, January 2010 | In: Money Comment | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed: RSS 2.0 | TrackBack | Permalink