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Katie Price In Hollywood Oscars Film: The Veruca Salt Biopic

by | 6th, March 2010

KATIE Price is in Los Angeles with Mr Toffee Crisp Alex Reid. The Oscars are due to start. And the Daily Star’s crack team of story experts create the front-page headline:

JORDAN: THE MOVIE.

Katie Price’s Career As Jordan (NSFW)

Look out for other exclusives, such as when Katie Price is in London at the same time as the Brits:

KATIE PRICE: THE SONG

In Florida as a spaceship is launched:

KATIE PRICE: THE MOTION SICKNESS

And wonder if a skin stain looks like the map of Bolivia:

KATIE: THE REVOLUTION

As for the film:

OUTRAGEOUS Jordan is set to reveal the X-rated truth about Peter Andre in a sexplosive film of her life. The model will tell all about her ex’s saucy secrets and the real reason they split in a no-holds-barred flick.

No holes barred? Secrets?

Glamour babe Katie Price, who is in LA for tomorrow night’s Oscars, has already held talks with a top Hollywood producer.

Maddy Ford (NSFW) pictures

Talking to a producer is what happens in LA. Just the other day budding actress Mimi Star was talking to a top Hollywood exec. She tells us:

“He came in. I asked him if he wanted the apple pie. He said “no’. I handed him his change and my resume. I licked my lips. He gave me his card. Isn’t it soooo amazing?!”

Alex Reid Naked (NSFW)

Tinseltown movers and shakers are desperate for the 31-year-old, alias Jordan, to sign up for a warts-and-all biopic.

Hold the warts. We’ve seen the feet movie with Dane Bowers – maybe a verruca-and-all biopic would be more fitting? Of course, Dane has very clean feet.

Katie Price And Horses (NSFW)

But Veruca Salt does so love horses and was last seen grabbing nuts and banging on about Willie. Katie Price seems the perfect choice to play Veruca. And what with orangey Peter Andre licking the chocolate and Toffee Crisp Alex on hand, a reunion might yet be possible.

Send for the Oompa Loompas… Princess… You’re on…

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Model Jordan body painted as the Ice Maiden, poses for the media during a photocall in London's Covent Garden today December 6, 1998, where she launched the Swatch Christmas watch Sparkling Life, priced at 55. PA Photos.

Katie Price’s Career As Jordan (NSFW)

Me And My Chest: Peter Andre’s Career in Pictures



Posted: 6th, March 2010 | In: Celebrities, Key Posts Comment | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed: RSS 2.0 | TrackBack | Permalink