Commonwealth Games: Millions Tune In To See Who Will Die In Delhi

commonwealth games delhi Commonwealth Games: Millions Tune In To See Who Will Die In DelhiTHE Commonwealth Games risked being a non-event until the boffins in Delhi enlivened it with a new Modern Pentahlon. Who now cannot resits tuning it not see:

CEILING LIFT

The ceiling has collapsed in the weightlifting zone. Can the Welsh team keep it up before the plasterboard crushes them to death?

PIPE VAULT

As the floor gives way, pole vaulters have just seconds to chose an implement with which to cross the growing divide – plastic, copper or lead (controversial).

LONG JUMP

The pedestrian bridge has collapsed. Bits of it may collapse beneath you as you run. Look on as the athletes defy gravity – for a bit before plummeting into a huge hole. Added pints for screams, somersaults and twists.

DENGUE RUN

Marvel as the rhythmic gymnasts use fly swats and lengths of double-sided sticky tape tied to ribbon to run through the athletes’ village.

DOWN THE DUNNY

The swimming pool is filling up with raw sewerage from the pipe beneath the diving boards. On the command “FLUSH!” the swimmers dive in and swim desperately away from the toxic tide.

Says one sports fan: “Fiver says Pakistan wins.”



Posted: 22nd, September 2010 | In: Sports Comments (6) | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed: RSS 2.0 | TrackBack | Permalink