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Anorak | I’m A Celebrity 2010 Line Up: Shaun Ryder To Eat Gillian McKeith

I’m A Celebrity 2010 Line Up: Shaun Ryder To Eat Gillian McKeith

by | 9th, November 2010

I’M A Celebrity Get Me Out Of Here! 2010. It’s a bumper crop of gonad munchers:

Nigel Havers – The Hugh Grant of his age. Fopped his way to glory in Chariots of Fire; son of  former Lord Chancellor Baron Havers; never made it as a film star; most recently seen as a rent-a-shag in Coronation Street.

Chances of winning: 4 Gonads (of five)

Gail Porter – TV presenter famous for losing her hair to illness; shagging a minor pop star; having her naked arse broadcast onto the side of Houses of Parliament; talking about the above three things ever since.

3 Gonads

Shaun Ryder – Happy Monday’s singer. Who will Shaun eat first? And will they be raw?

4.5 Gonads

Britt Ekland – Actress and former Bond Girl famous for being well fit in her youth. Once married to Peter Sellers. Still blonde.

3.5 Gonads.

Linford Christie – Former Olympic sprinter and famous “lunchbox”. A man whose sporting glory was reduced to the size of his knob in unforgiving light blue Lycra.  Tested positive for nadrolone (denies wrongdoing). Good news, then, for Olympic athletes: performance enhancers do NOT reduce the size of your bellend.

3 Gonads

Alison Hammond – Former Big Brother housemate and TV presenter least likely to wears bikini in shower. Loud. Loud. And loud. A Brummie – so presumed to be thick and unthreatening. Should do well.

Gonads: 4

Gillian McKeith – Nutritionist and poo examiner who will die a thousand deaths as she eats an anus. A hateful figure of food fascism whose TV shtick was to chuck your week’s diet of chips and sauce into a big mush and show you how gross it looked. It looked terrible – but that heap of steaming humus and beans looks a lot worse. As does Gillian,

Got her PhD from a non-accredited correspondence school in America and has never published any properly evaluated scientific research.

Gonads: 1

Lembit Opik – Former MP, who shags anything from a weather girl to a Cheeky Girl. If you have “girl” in your job title Lembik will shag you. Betty White  – the last Golden Girl – be warned.

Gonads: 3

Stacey Solomon – Former X factor finalist who looks a bit like an Afghan hound eating a chicken wing.

Gonads: 4

Dom Joly – Largely silent comedian whose Trigger Happy TV was a global hit. Went to the same school in Lebanon as Osama bin Laden. Look out for that fact being repeated. Will get on with Havers.

Gonads: 3.5

Sheryl Gascoigne – Former wife and punchbag for footballer Paul ‘Gazza’ Gascoigne. Mother to strumpet Bianca Gascoigne. Will talk about both.

Gonads: 3.

Aggro Santos – Rap star who will be eaten by rats as befitting the Star Trek Rule that the person you’ve never seen before dies first.



Posted: 9th, November 2010 | In: Key Posts, Tabloids Comments (5) | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed: RSS 2.0 | TrackBack | Permalink