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Anorak | Train Passengers Vote BNP As Overcrowding Gets Worse

Train Passengers Vote BNP As Overcrowding Gets Worse

by | 9th, November 2010

MP says that when train overcrowding gets even worse, UK travellers will have to either: a) insert themselves into other passengers in an interlocking system last seen during the last days of Sodom; b) moo.

In readiness, the BBC has guidance on how to leave a packed train. Intriguingly, the answer is not to dress as a jihadi, vote BNP or wet yourself and sit in your own urine – tramps always get plenty of room and a set on the London Underground – but to do as productivity consultant Eugene Chinal. Pushing says:

The thing about efficiency is getting a consistent flow – if flow is impeded you get a build up. It’s the same when driving on the motorway or trying to get into a football stadium.”

Yeah, really. The crowd gets worse when there is a build up of people. Who knew? Here are the steps to freedom:

“When it comes to flow, even the smallest action or impediment can have a snowballing affect, behind the person and in front of them.”

Yep. Go on:

Firstly, all passengers who want to get off should be allowed to do so quickly – which means those eager to board the carriage ought to stand well back. Getting on as someone is getting off is a big no-no.

Yes. Yes. Yes. But look – the dozing man has realised this is his stop. He’s racing to the door as people get on…

Once everyone is off new passengers should step on. It is very important that they continue moving down the carriage, this allows the flow to remain consistent. Stopping in the first clearing of free space slows everyone down…

No-one want to mvceo down the carriage – and nto ebcuse it’s herd instruct as psychologist Dr Colin Gill says:

“We are becoming a society of individualists, rather than a society. In modern culture people don’t get rewarded for doing the right thing and there aren’t so many sanctions for doing something wrong. There are fewer moral absolutes.”

We do not move down the carriage to the centre, away from the doors, because we believe that when some nutter screams “Allah Wakbar” and detonates himself, or when the steaming gang gets on, or when the tramp poos his pants, we will be trapped.

The whole purpose of riding public transport is to get on and off as fast a possible and spend at least amount of time with the public as you are humanly able. It is grim. It is why Government ministers have cars…



Posted: 9th, November 2010 | In: Reviews Comment | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed: RSS 2.0 | TrackBack | Permalink