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Anorak | Birmingham Cafe Owner Poisons 47 Police Officers

Birmingham Cafe Owner Poisons 47 Police Officers

by | 8th, December 2010

MURIEL Morris poisoned 47 West Midlands police officers. She did this not with rhetoric and bile, rather by way of her chicken and tuna sandwiches served at her Meal Machine cafe, in Nechells, Birmingham. The 70-year-old made the coppers’ sarnies ahead of their work at an English Defence League demonstration in Birmingham.

At Birmingham Magistrates Court, Morris pleads guilty to four charges of breaching food hygiene regulations.

She is ward a four-month suspended sentence, tagged and put on an overnight curfew.

The coppers wer infected by the staphylococcus aureus nasty. Seom cops fainted and needed oxygen. One lshed eight pudns. In bulk. One officer says: “I thought my life was coming to an end.

As ever, the official reaction of the police is amusing in it pursuit of the English language. A West Midlands Police spokesman said:

“Following a successful operation in Birmingham city centre, a number of officers were taken ill as a result of food poisoning with several requiring hospital treatment for dehydration. None were admitted overnight. Contingency planning measures were implemented to ensure normal police business as the protest came to an end and officers were recovering.”

More pepper spray, officer..?

Says Anorak reader Mic:

‘Mentally scarred’? WTF?

These modern coppers are a soft bunch. First we hear that 1 in 10 of the buggers are off sick at any given time, and now they’re left ‘mentally scarred’ by some auld biddy with a tin of dodgy tuna. I once had a meat pie from behind the bar at Rochdale nick that would have put the fear of Gordon Ramsey up any of this modern lot. It didn’t do me any psychological damage.

Well, not much…..

June adds:

They were mentally scarred? what about the toilets?

We will pass on your good wishes to the men and woman of the Runny Brown Line…



Posted: 8th, December 2010 | In: Strange But True Comment | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed: RSS 2.0 | TrackBack | Permalink