The Apprentice: Cracking Chris Bates Or Icy Stella English?
THE Apprentice is down to its final two. Chris Bates and Stella English are the finalists vying to work for Lord Alan Sugar. You might switch off at the thought to watching charisma-free Chris, who talks like his voice is breaking at a charity bingo night, and ice-cold Stella, the Linda Ronson / Kelvin McKenzie crossbreed.
Now that Stuart Baggs has gone, the show lack nothing. Baggs – “Everything I touch turns to sold”, “I have to rein in my extreme masculinity” – began well, and allowed the show to rely on more than bitchy women and Lord Alan’s put downs.
The Apprentice was all Baggs to Bitches.
The true star of this show is the casting talent that manages year on year to unearth a collection of undesirable tossers desperate to work in an office block in Essex. This is what we need on testing times: money-hungry hate figure we can watch fail.
So. Chris or Stella. Stella or Chris? Which one wins and get to take on Tim Campbell, Michelle Dewberry, Simon Ambrose, Lee McQueen or Yasmina Siadatan in the The Apprentice of Apprentices? The winner gets to work for one Sugar’s children…