Andy Gray And Richard Keys Present Chessboard Football On Sky Sports
ANDY Gray and Richard Keys are football’s brains, who have made it their life’s work to understand the offside rule. To the casual or drunk fan, the offside rule may be pathetically simple to grasp – easy enough even, say, for a Wayne Rooney or one of new wave of TV pundits like Jamie Redknapp – “There’s no argument, Anelka is arguably in the form of his life” – to understand.
But Gray and Keys want football to be bigger. They toil at the coal-face of TV broadcasting to make the world’s simplest game appear complicated and high-tec. And so it is our proud privilege to introduce Sky Sports new feature Chessboard Football. The pitch will be split into 64 equal sized squares, with Keys and Gray slowing the action down to explain each move. They will then debate what might have happened and what could have happened, taking the viewer through each permeation to its glorious or tragic * outcome.
Each game will last a full three days, which surveys prove is what the real football fans demand.
As Any Gray says:
When you’ve got a mountain to climb you may as well throw everything into the kitchen sink straight away.
* Fouls will be dissected by the Chief Medical Officer, or failing that, Quincy, who will tell viewers by way of slides and case notes how the player has been hurt, and highlight areas where lasting damage may be manifest. (Music by Henry Mancini.)