Anorak | Melanie Phillips Introduces The Five Dirtiest Biblical Sex Stories

Melanie Phillips Introduces The Five Dirtiest Biblical Sex Stories

by | 14th, February 2011

lots daughters Melanie Phillips Introduces The Five Dirtiest Biblical Sex StoriesMELANIE Phillips makes a late spurt in the Daily Mail Jan Moir Hate Stakes with a chat about gay marriage and how it goes against God and the Bible.

She talks of the “wilder extremes” of political correctness as ministers look to allowing homosexual couples to ‘marry’ in a church.

The stand out paragraph is here:

Truly, we are fast reaching the stage where upholding Biblical sexual standards will become the morality that dare not speak its name.

It dare. It dare. As Mark Twain said, the Bible has “a wealth of obscenity”. Let’s see if it’s any good. Dim the lights:

1. Incest And Cheep Booze: Genesis 19:30-36:

Now Lot went up out of Zoar and lived in the hills with his two daughters, for he was afraid to live in Zoar. So he lived in a cave with his two daughters. 31 And the firstborn said to the younger, “Our father is old, and there is not a man on earth to come in to us after the manner of all the earth. 32 Come, let us make our father drink wine, and we will lie with him, that we may preserve offspring from our father.” 33 So they made their father drink wine that night. And the firstborn went in and lay with her father. He did not know when she lay down or when she arose.

34 The next day, the firstborn said to the younger, “Behold, I lay last night with my father. Let us make him drink wine tonight also. Then you go in and lie with him, that we may preserve offspring from our father.” 35 So they made their father drink wine that night also. And the younger arose and lay with him, and he did not know when she lay down or when she arose. 36 Thus both the daughters of Lot became pregnant by their father.

Daily Mail Headline: Immigrant Paedo Dad Incest Horror

2. Sex Slaves And Trading In Human Flesh: Genesis 29: 21-28

Then Jacob said to Laban, “Give me my wife that I may go in to her, for my time is completed.” 22 So Laban gathered together all the people of the place and made a feast. 23 But in the evening he took his daughter Leah and brought her to Jacob, and he went in to her. 24 (Laban gave [1] his female servant Zilpah to his daughter Leah to be her servant.) 25 And in the morning, behold, it was Leah! And Jacob said to Laban, “What is this you have done to me? Did I not serve with you for Rachel? Why then have you deceived me?” 26 Laban said, “It is not so done in our country, to give the younger before the firstborn. 27 Complete the week of this one, and we will give you the other also in return for serving me another seven years.” 28 Jacob did so, and completed her week. Then Laban gave him his daughter Rachel to be his wife.

Daily Mail Headline: “I was a child sex slave” – Girl’s virginity sold to dad of 12 for odd jobs

3. Masturbation: Judah 38:8-10:

“And Er, Judah’s firstborn, was wicked in the sight of the LORD; and the LORD slew him. And Judah said unto Onan, Go in unto thy brother’s wife, and marry her, and raise up seed to thy brother. And Onan knew that the seed should not be his; and it came to pass, when he went in unto his brother’s wife, that he spilled it on the ground, lest that he should give seed to his brother. And the thing which he did displeased the LORD: wherefore he slew him also.

Daily Mail Headline: Onanism Is The Silent Killer

4. Voyeurism: 2 Samuel 11:2-5:

“Now when evening came David arose from his bed and walked around on the roof of the king’s house, and from the roof he SAW A WOMAN BATHING; and the woman was very beautiful in appearance. So David sent and inquired about the woman. And one said, ‘Is this not … the wife of Uriah the Hittite?’ And David sent messengers and took her, and when she came to him, he lay with her… And the woman conceived; and she sent and told David, and said, ‘I am pregnant.’”

Daily Mail Headline: Lap Dancer Has Pervert King’s Baby

5. Getting Your Son’s Wife In Bed: Gen. 38:15-16

When Judah saw her, he thought she was a prostitute, for she had covered her face. 16 Not realizing that she was his daughter-in-law, he went over to her by the roadside and said, “Come now, let me sleep with you.”

“And what will you give me to sleep with you?” she asked.

Daily Mail Headline: My Kerb-Crawling Sex Shame

Phillips ends:

Imagine the Government was planning to recognise polygamy and polyandry (marriage with more than one woman or man), or marriage between ‘zoophiles’ (people who have ‘loving and committed relationships with mammals’, or bestiality to you and me) and their, er, partners.

We’re imagining right now, Melanie. Imagining very hard as Phillips makes ready to breast the tape (over and over and over – we’re playing the breasting of the tape in our mind, Melanie.). But can Moir come back with a column to take the Cup?

Posted: 14th, February 2011 | In: Key Posts, News Comments (7) | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed: RSS 2.0 | TrackBack | Permalink