London University Paper Wants Wealthy Students To Steal: Muggers Are Delighted
The tips are great:
“If possible, you should always have some money on you when intending to shoplift because if you’ve got none, its rather hard to argue that to steal the item was a spontaneous decision.”
Of course, anything worth stealing can be expensive, so you will need to be carrying a fair few bob on you. (Muggers targeting students should take note – the student might well say “Right on, bruvver” as you nick their iPod, cash, mobile phone, emergency credit card from mum and dad…)
More tips some:
“If the cops do arrive, its a good idea to act scared s******* because they may assume you’re a first offender and not bother to check your record. Don’t antagonise the filth. It is their personal discretion as to how bad you get busted.’”
“It is a good idea to keep your back to the camera as much as possible without looking suspicious.”
The organ’s joint editor Bue Rubner Hansen says the piece is “satirical“. It might, although who it is lampooning remains unclear. Is it the students who are too stupid to work out how to steal? The magazine which in complaining of cuts finds the cash to print 9,000 leaflets about stealing? Or the editor who, reportedly, borrowed a story that appeared in an Australian student newspaper in 1995..?