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Anorak News | Sarah Ferguson Explores Her ‘Lotus Flower’ For Cash

Sarah Ferguson Explores Her ‘Lotus Flower’ For Cash

by | 1st, March 2011

JOBBING Royal pimp Sarah Ferguson is on Oprah Winfrey’s telly network talking about her lotus flower. No, it’s not a euphemism for her big toe, but an actual inner flower – that should not be eaten to excess lest it cause Fergie to fall into a delusional fugue:

“They always say a lotus flower grows with very strong roots in muddy water, and it grows tall and strong and no water sticks to its leaves. We mustn’t let negativity stick to us. But how could I have been a lotus flower on that day, on May 23 [the day she was caught out flogging Prince Andrew]? I was not aware of my roots [daughter of stable lad], I wasn’t standing tall and I had a world of negativity stuck to me. I was happy just sitting in my own isolated, lonely place, alone with Sarah, because at least I had myself. I was just going to be there because I couldn’t trust anyone, except for my girls and Andrew. And so I went to find the lotus flower within myself.”

She found it? Apparently, yes. And now you too can find Ye Olde Lotuss Flowere if you send £10,000 to the Sarah Ferguson Lotus Elan Fund. For that money you will get a signed promise that, despite testimony to the contrary, there is only one Sarah Ferguson…

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Miss Sarah Ferguson, the bride of Prince Andrew who was created Duke of York the same day, on the arm of her father Major Ronald Ferguson, as they arrived for their long walk through Westminster Abbey. * 16/03/03 Major Ronald Ferguson, who has died aged 71, and his daughter, the Duchess of York, on her wedding day. The Major had been battling against prostate cancer since 1996 and had suffered a series of heart attacks. The Duchess, who was said to be 'grieving', was on her way to Australia when her father died in The Hampshire Clinic, Basingstoke, close to the family home at Dummer.



Posted: 1st, March 2011 | In: Royal Family Comment | TrackBack | Permalink