Irish Cricket Doctors Cure England Fans Of Australian Delusions
IRELAND have beaten England in the Cricket World Cup. After the coin toss – which England lent to the Irish captain at a pretty favourable rate – Ireland handed a lump of wood to a passing tourist, later revealed to be one Kevin O’Brien, and told him to hit the small, hard football. He could work out the rules of the game later. Just hit it and see if he can pick it up.
O’Brien went on to score the fastest century in Cricket World Cup history, smashing smashed 113 off 63 balls.
England fans still suffering from psychotic episodes developed by sleep depravation in which it appeared the English beat Australia in a Test while Andrew Strauss abseiled to Mars on Leo Sayer’s curls, wept with relief as they were declared “cured”.
Says one shadowy Pakistani:
“I would say it was a fix, but have you seen England play? You need to actually be in control of the ball to cheat. It ain’t easy, take my word for it.”