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Can Porn Missionary Charlie Sheen Destroy The Therapy Industry?

by | 3rd, March 2011

CHARLIE Sheen is not a dissolute fornicator. He is missionary saving fallen women, like Bree Olson, nee Rachel Oberlin. Sheen has told Howard Stern that he got Olson to collect her golden c*ock and retire from the porn business.

Bree is now with Sheen at his home, the one he calls “Sober Valley Lodge“. How he got her to retire is one of the few things Sheen has not yet shared with his followers on Twitter, which has replaced Two & A Half Men as the hottest show in town. The expert opinion is that you can’t make a lucrative come back unless you’ve retired; or that everyone want to make sacrifices to meet Emilio Estevez.

Sheen is currently living with Natalie Kenly and the resting Bree Olson. Says Olson on Twitter:

“I don’t do drugs and neither does anybody around me. I used to drink occasionally and don’t even do that anymore. Yeah, I love sex, so what?”

Bree is enjoying her moment in the media glare:

“All three of us are in a relationship, and if Charlie ever wants to go outside the wedge and act out on his sexual desires, that’s fine with Natty and me. We’re laid-back people.”

As is the aforesaid Natalie (porn name: Natty Undresser):

“Our bed is big enough for all three of us and we take turns sleeping in the middle. But if someone’s really tired, there’s always a place for them to sleep in peace.”

This is the same Charlie Sheen who served jail time for beating his wife and whose children Bob and Max were removed from his custody after their mother Brooke Mueller told the court that he threatened her with a knife.

Radar has the video of Charlie handing the children over. TMZ reports Mueller’s statement:

“I am very concerned that [Sheen] is currently insane. I am in great fear that he will find me and attack me and I am in great fear for the children’s safety while in his care.”

Sheen then goes on Today and says he wants his boys back. (Natty, who is billed as a “nanny”, must be keen to multi-task and make full use of the naughty step.) Sheens goes on Piers Morgans show and talks about his great life .

And one thing is certain: the enabling media loves Charlie Sheen, the one-man content factory. Marty Beckerman sums up the lunacy:

Charlie Sheen is no longer a mere thespian, nor a mere playboy; he has become a modern icon of unfiltered, untrammeled masculinity, an embodiment of Nietzsche’s Übermensch who no longer needs the Hollywood hype machine; he has achieved orbit. His publicist refuses to work with him anymore, yet Sheen is booked on every major media outlet in the country. He is the prime topic of American conversation, not for his crimes, not for his work, but simply for being Charlie Sheen. Not like the fame matters to him beyond the godlike amusement of generating spectacle, because he is the essential self-contained man.

That’s the kind of bollocks that fills space. Sheen is not famous because he is being Sheen; he is wanted because we like to see star’s eviscerate themselves for our entertainment. Sheen is as disposable to us as the porn star hanger-oners he picks up.

The one good thing about this is that Sheen is defying the therapy industries, that cloying, self-satisfied, reassuringly expensive and exclusive orchestrated care-fest that whirls the stricken star about in its revolving door to cure demons and empty wallets. Charlie Sheen and his pet puss will not be the new Charlie Says, popping up on the magic box to tell us to avoid wrongs and watch how we go.

James Rainey writes:

Rather than give one airing about Sheen’s dysfunction and the early termination of the taping of his hit show, “Two and a Half Men,” the leaders behind ABC’s “Good Morning America” and NBC’s “Today” rolled out their segments, piece by piece, like so much rancid candy. A sort of nauseating culmination had been scheduled to air Tuesday night — an “extraordinary” “20/20” special from ABC called “Charlie Sheen in His Own Words.”

Introducing a second day of the story Tuesday morning on “Today,” reporter Jeff Rossen said Sheen had called back not long after his initial rant and declared “I’ve got more to say.” Said Rossen: “Obviously, we went.”

The last word is with Sheen, who tells People:

“It’s not an act. Here’s the good news: If I realize that I’m insane, then I’m okay with it. I’m not dangerous insane.”

He’s right. So long as you only see the self-combustion on the telly, you’ll be just fine…



Posted: 3rd, March 2011 | In: Celebrities, Key Posts Comment | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed: RSS 2.0 | TrackBack | Permalink