Anorak

Anorak | Peter Andre And Elen Rivas Split: Canned Air And Jimmy Savile Seep Out

Peter Andre And Elen Rivas Split: Canned Air And Jimmy Savile Seep Out

by | 9th, March 2011

MORE disingenuous news with OK!, as the cover announces new of Peter Andre and Elen Rivas, who have been sharing bodily fluids and an agent:

“PETER & ELEN – SUDDEN SEPARATION”

You might expect the headline to end with an elipse:

Peter And Elen Sudden Separation Form Reality.

But on Page 78, we learn that they pair have separated – he’s gone on holiday to Dubai with his kidzzzz. She’s gone to a “London Oscars party”.

In other news away from the couple that prove to Katie Price and her Jordans that C + C = D we learn that Peter Andre is “on the up with a new programme called Peter Andre Here To Help”.

Says he elsewhere:

“I’m going to be a bit like an agony uncle who solves people’s problems and helps them to achieve their dreams. For anyone who used to watch Jim’ll Fix It, it’ll be a bit like a modern-day version of that.”

Jimmy, of course, confronted big issues like bulimia in the cub scout movement. His conquests got a medal and a blast of warming cigar smoke. Look out for Pete’s saved souls receiving a small millstone necklace and a heart fashioned from his buffed dry skin…



Posted: 9th, March 2011 | In: Celebrities Comment | TrackBack | Permalink