Anorak | Pastor Proves Sun Is 500 Miles Above Earth

Pastor Proves Sun Is 500 Miles Above Earth

by | 10th, March 2011

IN the forums, we get to meet Pastor Billy-Reuben Gibson. He’s a cleric, at Landover Baptist Church – “Proud to be God’s Authority on Earth”. he thinks the sun is 500 miles above the Earth.

The sun is roughly 491.1 miles overhead. Depending on the exact shade of yellow (whether it’s closer to 570nm or 580nm), this figure could be off by as much as 5 miles. However, I don’t have a spectrometer handy, and I’m willing to live with an uncertainty of ±5 miles. It’s not like I’m planning to visit anytime soon — my shoes would melt .

The LORD is so good to me. Praise the sweet name of Jesus.

In other news:

Pastor Billy-ReubenPastor Billy-Reuben Gibson was a Hellbound sinner in his younger days. He was a fornicating, dope-smoking, angry-at-God type atheist, into demon-worship, witchcraft, crystals, Mormonism, astrology, astronomy, evolution, voting for Democrats, and any other way he could think of to spit in God’s eyes.

Jesus, however, had another Plan for this young man. The Lord arranged it so that he would be exposed to some True Christian™ Gospel Preaching from Landover Baptist’s own Pastor Deacon Fred, who was witnessing to an ungodly bunch of atheists. The Good Lord softened Billy-Reuben’s heart, and he knelt down and accept Jesus Christ as his Lord and Savior then and there right in front of all of his atheist buddies. Praise God!

It’s beautiful stuff.

Spotters: Yampster & Robert Carter (may the Lord have mercy on them)

Posted: 10th, March 2011 | In: Strange But True Comments (5) | TrackBack | Permalink