Kate Moss Highlights Dangers Of Inhaling Jan Moir
“What’s one more poison?”
Says local woman Kate Moss:
“Jan Moir is my role model. I once spent an entire Friday afternoon wearing a Jan Moir face mask and chucking pebbles and then big rocks inside a greenhouse. The first week was pretty good fun but by week three I was feeling drained and began to doubt that what I was doing was worthwhile. By the fourth week I was desperate. I started listening to records by gay Stephen Gateley and speeches by un-gay Fred Phelps – anything to reawaken my inner Moir. But now that I can inhale her essence right from the page, I feel reborn.”
Surgeons warning: Smoking Jan Moir can turn you heterosexual.