Thieves Wisely Pawned Off What They Stole From Paris Hilton
THIEVES may not have been very attentive at school but they’re not daft. Think about it – when you’re locked out of your house, instead of finding inventive ways in, you stand there staring at your dying battery symbol with all the futility of an ice-pop in an inferno, pacing around and worrying about looking like a dodgy swinebrained git.
In the time it takes you to wonder what you can lob through a window, a good burglar will have sneaked in, stolen your identity and killed your beloved dog before the alarm even kicked in.
And so, to LA, where some canny ne’er-do-wells have broken into Paris Hilton’s house (a place that is surely dripping with riches and things worth reselling (like sex-tapes and wraps of cocaine that can be mistaken for chewing gum) and got away with a fine haul!
Basically, these tricksy buggers broke into Hilton’s pad and stole millions of dollars worth of jewellery and pawned it all off before anyone really knew what was going on (TIP: Get to the pawn shops in LA for some fancy jewels on the cheap).
The heiress/celebutante was going to Boa last night with her spectacularly stupid boyfriend, Cy Waits (for no man) and said:
“[The burglars] pawned everything that was real … they only gave me back the costume stuff.”
How great is that? Return some of the heist to the LAPD investigators think they’ve done a good job and then, while they put their feet up and enjoy the moment with a glass of whisky and Pepto Bismol, the baddies can leisurely flog the good stuff from their swag bags. $2 million worth of swag no less.