Anorak

Anorak | Wayne Rooney, Kissing Helen Wood’s Sex Toy And A Gag: Photos

Wayne Rooney, Kissing Helen Wood’s Sex Toy And A Gag: Photos

by | 14th, April 2011

helen wood2 Wayne Rooney, Kissing Helen Woods Sex Toy And A Gag: PhotosTHE “ROONEY HOOKER” on the cover of the Sun is Helen Wood (nom-de-shag: Drew). She is one of “Wayne Rooney’s vice girls” who has shagged “a married leading actor”.

Having reduced Wood in its front-page headline to the role of nameless body, the Sun tells us that it can’t reveal the actor’s name because a court has gagged it from doing so.

Says Helen:

“He turned over and he was a disgusting kisser. He kissed like a virgin.”

Don’t virgins make the best kissers? The shagger’s kiss is but a dutiful taster before the serious business of fluid release.

The Sun adds:

Helen offered to use a sex toy on him and he eagerly agreed.

It appears that the identity of this sex toy is also part of the gagging order. Anorak supposes it to be a dildo or vibrator. But sex is a complex industry and we should not rule out Strip Ludo or a Nintendo Wii.

We are then treated to this line:

He then complimented her, saying: “You’re a very beautiful young lady” – before recommending a local restaurant and making off without leaving a tip.

The phrase “young lady” suggests the actor is either of a certain vintage or else getting into character as the Dissolute Diner, the star of a new TV series about a lorry driver who dreams of being a restaurant critic.

Indeed, were we to know the name of the recommended eatery, this story may have an element of substance…

Helen Wood


helen wood Wayne Rooney, Kissing Helen Woods Sex Toy And A Gag: Photos
Picture 1 of 9

Wood is, reportedly, the other woman who shagged Wayne Rooney in a lesbian threesome with Jennifer Thompson. The Manchester United player got Wood in a package deal, allegedly. NSFW Video: Wayne Rooney’s Jennifer Thompson Sex Tape Helen is 23 and a single mum. Wayne’s own wife, Coleen Rooney, is not a single mum – yet – but she will surely take it a boost to her confidence that her husband might not only shag childless women but someone whose body has been through childbirth.



Posted: 14th, April 2011 | In: Key Posts, News Comment | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed: RSS 2.0 | TrackBack | Permalink