Rats Decide It Is Payback Time In Glee Star Matthew Morrison House
While Morrison (the half-brother of soul singer Mark Morrison) has been seen hurling autotuned words from his mouth at us all, despite the fact we’ve done nothing that deserves such inhumane treatment, rats have moved into his house with the hope of loading up his expensive carpet with all manner of diseases, previously thought eradicated.
Morrison went away on his holibobs for a few days and returned to find a group of laughing rodents, having the kind of party as seen in Gremlins 2. The ringleader rat grew a mohawk and learned how to smoke, leaving the Glee actor both impressed and horrified.
Talking to the entirely not-made-up Billy Bush Show, Matthew said:
“I came home and World War III broke out in my house. There was rat poop all over my house when I got home. I go upstairs (and) there was a huge rat in my bed. And like, poop and faeces all over my bed…
“I got home at like, 10pm on Sunday night and I had a 6am call on Glee on Monday, and it was just the worst night ever… I tried to catch the rat and he darted away. And I kind of cornered him in this thing… I thought he was dead on my bed.
“So… I put a bunch of plastic bags on my hand – I went to grab him and he just darted off… He was on the windowsill, kind of just eyeing me. We were playing cat and mouse – or Matt and rat, I guess.
In a move that annoyed half of the internet when that woman put someone’s cat in a dustbin, Morrison decided to risk the wrath of twitter and throw a defenceless buck-toothed rodent in a bin himself. Because he’s some kind of monster. With nice teeth.
“I got him, ran downstairs in my underwear, and threw him in this far away trash can. Came back, tried to sleep and I just couldn’t. A half hour later, I hear something else… On my nightstand! I get up… I run over and turn the light on, and this big guy is on my nightstand and he jumps on my bed. They just love my bed!
“And he’s looking at me like, ‘What are you doing on my bed?’ He’s looking at me like I’m the asshole.”
We’re with Team Rat on that one. Anyway, Morrison, instead of calling a person who can actually kill rats for a living with their special rat knives and rodent glue, decided that he’d simply hand over his home to the pests while he moved to hotel.
“This is my house that I own. Now I want to put it back on the market!”
The rats are considering clubbing together, buying out the Glee actor and then going bothering him at every place he ever moves away to, just for a laugh.
Good work rats. If you could go and bother Piers Morgan, that’d be great too.