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Charlie Sheen’s Estranged Wife Nips Off To Rehab Looking Glassy Eyed

by | 18th, April 2011

MEME on legs, Charlie Sheen, is a man seemingly destined to create a whirlpool of near-death around him. In some respects, it is very impressive – the other angle is that its all incredibly distressing watching a group of people unravel while a man shouts “WINNING TIGER BLOOD OF BAYONETS!” or whatever the latest idiotic buzzword is.

Then again, who are we to care? He’s an obscenely wealthy man who can toot his way through suitcases of cocaine and die, right there, before our very eyes, becoming yet another bizarre celebrity footnote that we’ll invariably half-remember in a decade or so, when we’re talking about stupid people and their stupid dying.

And the latest person to look all dead-in-the-eyes is Sheen’s estranged wife, Brooke Mueller.

Over the weekend, Brooke refused to take a drug test. Shame really, because she’s legally obliged to do so as part of a custody agreement with Sheen. And so, she gone to rehab again, because its the American equivalent of the confession booth, where you can absolve your sins with some meek-eyed mendery!

This won’t look good in the courts, especially given that she receives $55,000 from Charlie per month, but she might want more if she’s spending it on Class As or expensive booze (presuming that’s why she’s packed herself off to a clinic). Despite getting a wadge of cash that could easily fill a large shed, she’s been seen trying to pawn a pricey watch and stereo equipment!

And so, here we go again with the most pointlessly dysfunctional set of humans, drawing out their brief reunification with the spotlight, giving us all the chance to sneer at their nailed-on downfall.

HURRAY!

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Posted: 18th, April 2011 | In: Celebrities Comment | TrackBack | Permalink