Man Lives Undetected For Months In Milton Keynes Ladies’ Toilet
IN Milton Keynes a man is posing as plumber (he carries a sink plunger, square tool box, huge half-exposed arse crack and T-shirt with plumbing logo) to gain access to the ladies’ toilet. Once inside, the man hides in the ladies’ loos for “hours at a time”. So reports the local Citizen newspaper.
And he has calling card. Not a massive turd or message on the final sheet of toilet paper, but metal plates he screws to the bottom of the cubicle “so nobody can see his feet”.
The paper then delivers this chilling line:
The unwanted occupier spent months hidden away in a cubicle in one of the city’s most prestigious office buildings before his cover was blown.
Water would be easy to come by, but what about food. The yellow and blue cakes are not rich in vitamins. The building is Medina House on Silbury Boulevard. The man was spotted and ordered to leave the buiilding. He hss since be seen in the ladies at a Tesco’s in Kingston.
Says one woman:
“It is so scary. We have no idea what he does in there, In fact, we dread to think what he’s up to.”
What can he be up to? Masturbation is the obvious idea. But would a man who stoops to such ingenious methods to inhale the bouquet and gossip of the ladies lavs be a mere tosser?
Anorak supposes he a lost time lord looking for a portal to his own world. Or possibly French…