Obama’s Long Birth Certificate Endorsed By Official Cervical Mucus Plug Seal
BARACK Obama has decided to show you his birth certificate. To further squash claims that he was born somewhere other then in the US, the President will be using his cervical mucus plug on official seals. Obama will then revisit his birth by actually attempting to crawling inside his dead mother and be reborn, literally, in a TV address.
This is not a stunt, just the decent thing to do and befitting a man of his office.
“Now this issue has been going on for two and a half years now. . . I have watched with bemusement — I have been puzzled at the degree to which this thing continued.
“Normally I would not comment on something like this. . . I’ve got other things to do.
“We’re not going to be able to do it if we spend time vilifying each other, we’re not going to be able to do it if we just make stuff up and pretend that facts are not facts. We’re not going to be able to solve our problems if we get distracted by sideshows and carnival barkers. We do not have time for this kind of silliness.”
The birth certificate shows that Mr Obama was born in Honolulu, Hawaii at 7.24pm on August 4, 1961.
The issue was pushed by Donald Trump, the star of a reality TV show who wears a fringe that some say was born in a rural German barn. Says he:
“Today I’m very proud of myself. I’ve just been informed on my helicopter that the president has released his birth certificate. I feel like I’ve accomplished something really important. I’m very proud. . . He should have done it a long time ago.”
“I am really honoured to have played such a big role. . . I hope it checks out beautifully. Now we can get onto real issues.”
Dave Weigel explains:
Does this end “birtherism?” I don’t think it will. Surely more forgery gurus will tumble out of the woodwork and quibble with the kerning. This document includes the name of Obama’s hospital and attending physician, but it doesn’t include a footprint, and even though no Hawaii birth certificates like this included that, it’ll be a reed for birthers to hang on to.
Does it end the “questions” about Obama? No. I’d expect the focus to shift now to Obama’s college records and writings — as Donald Trump has already been shifting them, by asserting that Obama must have gotten into Columbia via affirmative action to make up for what, he speculates, were bad grades.
Anorak is still reeling from the news that Obama is of woman born…