Pippa Middleton’s Ass-Tastic Strip Show: Photos
News is that Pippa once made a dress from toilet rolls, after “stripping off at a dinner party“. The paper says that while still clad in the branded three-ply stuff, Pippa took her place in a human pyramid “her risque costume about to rip at any moment”.
Only, it didn’t.
The Metro opines on the Pippa Middleton Ass Appreciation Society:
The Facebook page, which by Sunday morning had been liked by 72,621 users, says: ‘Now it’s no secret that Pippa Middleton is absolutely banging! It’s time to show your appreciation for the Minxy Middleton.’
Tweets Ashes hero Michael Vaughan:
“Tell you what!!! Pippa is fit.”
He then chimes, with no subtle innuendo:
“Make a move this afternoon Harry. Lovely gardens at the palace.”
Only Pippa is dating a stokebroker named Alex Loudon, 30.
We are then treated to this bit of utter bilge about Pippa’s social life at Edinburgh University:
“As soon as Pippa arrived she made sure she joined the right set. Edinburgh’s toff crowd is divided into two cliques. One goes to London at weekends to party and the others go off to each other’s country houses. Pippa joined the country set.”
Has there been uttered a truer line to show how austerity has bitten us all? Toffs can only longer maintain either a bijou London pile or a county estate. They cannot have both.
Pippa is, however, hopeful of an upturn in fortunes:
“She has a checklist of what her perfect man must have – a title, or at least be in line for one, a house in Kensington or Notting Hill, and an estate in the sticks. And of course he must be incredibly handsome.”
We’ll know the recession if over when Pippa finds Mr Right.
The NoTW continues its spotlight on Pippa by quoting a “pal”, who says:
“Pippa’s enjoying all the benefits of royal connections – the attention, the designer clothes and the best parties. And all without any of the duties. She’s become a princess without the bad bits.”
Oh, really? To prove how easy Pippa’s got it, and how she will not be pulled apart by the media, the paper finds space to quote the words of Cara Ellisonm who tweeted during the wedding:
“Had classes with Pippa Middleton at Edinburgh Uni. Probably one of the most annoying people I’ll ever meet. Barbie doll from hell.”
As we say, Pippa’s not a princess now, she’s celebrity. Let the expert analysis begin…