Mariah Carey Wants Everyone To Guess Her Twins Names
MARIAH Carey is, of course, more mental than a tree filled with talking toasters. She became pregnant with twins, which left the universe considering implosion briefly. Could the human race stand Mariah gloating about her working ovaries? Could we collectively take the cloying praise bestowed on her little bundles of disappointments?
One person who doesn’t care about our feelings is Mariah Carey who, for some inexplicable reason, wants us all to guess the names of her newborns, who were brought into the world while Carey was listening to one of her own albums.
Mariah has already revealed that both babies – a boy and a girl, weighing in at who cares? – have been given names beginning with ‘M’.
So what could they be? We all know celebrities have a penchant for ridiculous names. Just look at Bob Geldof’s abhorrent offspring. Look at Chris Martin and Gwyneth Paltrow’s poor sprog. Let us not forget Frank Zappa’s kids, Dweezil and Moon Unit… but at least he’s got a cruel sense of humour to fall back on.
No, it is obvious that Mariah’s children will follow a similar route to Jermaine Jackson’s child, Jermajesty. This means the boy will be called M’Lud and the girl will be called ‘Mother Nature’, ensuring that, while they may have all the financial opportunities a human could hope for, they’ll know trouble and struggle thanks to constant bullying from other humans.
Good work Mariah. That’s how you ground ’em.