Government Says Global Warming Will Kill Wi-Fi And Send Us Back To AOL
Or it could not. But by the time we get to the teaser, the impending doom has worsened:
Climate change will disrupt wi-fi connections, cause regular power failures and lead railway lines to buckle unless Britain spends billions of pounds, Caroline Spelman, the Environment Secretary has warned.
She has the facts.
Already the transport sector is preparing for temperatures above 104F (40C) this summer, which could lead to breakdowns on the railways.
Leaves. Heat. Bolshie workers. Take your pick of reason why train travel can be disrupted.
Speaking at Blackfriars Station in London, which Network Rail is currently fitting with solar panels and rainwater harvesting systems in order to be more resilient against power cuts, Ms Spelman said the UK is already investing £200 billion over the next five years.
Solar panels and buckets will keep your trains trucking at speed and on time?
But that will not be enough to stop economic impacts of climate change if it is invested in the wrong areas.
Like the buffet car?
She warned of intense rainfall, droughts and heatwaves in the next 50 to 100 years because of man-made global warming.
Just say she is right and that manmade global warming – for which there is no conclusive proof – makes train tracks buckle and drivers head to the beach. Do you think technology might adapt to the extra heat, like it does in, say, hot countries?
The signal from wi-fi cannot travel as far when temperatures increase.
But in the future it might. And in the future all trains might have Wi-Fi. Hey, in the future, we might not need trains. We might have something better than Wi-Fi.
Heavy downfalls of rain also affect the ability of the device to capture a signal.
As the technology is now, perhaps, yes.
Spelman then opens her mouth and starts to talk:
“Our economy is built on effective transport and communications networks and reliable energy and water supplies. But the economy cannot grow if there are repeated power failures, or goods cannot be transported because roads are flooded and railways have buckled, or if intense rainfall or high temperatures disrupt Wi-Fi signals.”
If the economy is so reliant on good Wi-Fi, why is it so slow and pricey? Why nto invest in better Wi-Fi and trains?
She goes on:
“£200 billion is expected to be invested in the UK’s infrastructure over the next five years. But if the facilities which support our society cannot cope with floods, droughts or freezing winters then that money will have been wasted.”
Will it? All of it?
Ace nails it:
If we don’t destroy our economy immediately, we all could be plunged, temporarily, back into the Dark Ages of 1991-1993
Dial ups and America Online, people. We. Must. Act. Now!
Survival Tip: Never take your lap-top outside and turn up the air conditioning by your PC.